2/26/2006

 
BONO UPDATE, PART DIX: Bono must win the Nobel Peace Prize. I ask you, what kind of world would we live where a rockstar who wears sunglasses inside didn't win?

A world that has found it's sanity.

For real, Bono is a serious humanitarian. In between fighting poverty off with a stick, he also kicked off Carnival in Rio. And those Brazilians need to ditch the samba for some rock.

And you can just bet that Bono brought down some applications for the new American Express Red Card and it's kickin' APR.

I say next year we nominate Richard Gere. He cares about India and as a celebrity he knows stuff. Plus, since Starbucks is going the expand there, we've got to start saving some lives, people.

2/23/2006

 

On the Hunt


CHENEYLICIOUSNESS: What can one conclude about the recent media hoopla surrounding Dick Cheney?

Before I tackle this cheneylicious conundrum, I should admit my bias. Afterall, let's not beat around the presidential bush, I am a Republican.

Accusations are flying that Cheney was snookered up, broke guns regulations and single-handedly attempted a coup de tat. Details.

Oh, what to conclude? Now that the pundits/lawyers/investigators have concluded that matching accounts support Cheney's story, maybe can agree that it was an accident...or a vast right-wing conspiracy?

Who knows? Politics is like poetry - dirty, dirty, filthy poetry. Here's An Ode to Vice President Dick Cheney for providing us what may be the haiku of the Bush Presidency.

Cheers, Dick.

2/21/2006

 
STARBUCKS UPDATE: This morning I had to make my Starbucks out of a strainer and tea pot in a dorm. But I did it, dammit, I did it. I did it in memory of all of you, dear readers...and because I have a severe caffeine addiction.

Three days ago, I set out on a journey to Starbucks. Walking for miles along the sea, I walked past Byzantine ruins, through the slums of Thessaloniki and into the hearts of Starbucks aficionados everywhere.

I walked 5 MILES to Starbucks. Once I reached my Mecca, I paid 4 Euro for a grande, non-fat, no-whip, iced mocha. And it was all worth it...except when I had to walk back.

The point of this tale of triumph and tragedy is not to complain about my blisters, but rather to urge you all to take a moment to consider what counts. Starbucks counts people, Starbucks counts.

Keeping this in mind, Starbucks has set out to send India spiralling down into a caffeine-addicted Hell.

 
DUTCH WE HARDLY KNEW YE: See ya Vander Plaats! Take your wooden shoes with you!

The field of Republicans is down to one. Good thing?

 
WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN BLOGGING MUCH: Because as sophisticated as "Europe" is, Europe has extremely slow computers.

I'll take that sophistication with a side of wireless internet access PLEASE!

2/16/2006

 
WHAT'S FOR DINNER: Newts? Disgusting. Yet, Iowa Republicans will slug 'em down at the annual Abraham Lincoln Dinner on April 29th at Embassy Suites in Des Moines. Embassy Suites may, in fact, be a classier venue than Vito's.

Is that pond sludge I smell or an '08 presidential candidate?

2/14/2006

 

Moving On Up In The World, Part II

While we're on the topic of Valentine's Day (and if we weren't on that topic, well, there's no time like the present), I know some of our most loyal readers and bloggers have touching stories of romances past and present. To get the ball rolling, here's my humble contribution to the spirit of the season:

Like every story worth telling, this one begins and ends with a girl (conveniently, it's the same one all the way through). She's not one of those girls who fit into the catchy metaphors I like to use; every description of her I try to give is bound to come up short in one way or another. I used to have a whole checklist of things I wanted her to be, but after I met her in real life I forgot what was on my list. I struggled alot with how to express that thought, but in the end I think I did alright.

To get her attention, I sent her a half dozen red roses (the link justifies the post) for her birthday and a handwritten card that read "The best is yet to come/Happy Birthday from your secret admirer." After letting the gossip flow - I helped it along a bit - for exactly two weeks, I sent her the other half today. My signed card said:

"I said the best was yet to come/I hope that all is well/Will you be my valentine?/'Cause that would sure be swell"

 

Moving On Up In the World

Read it here first folks: the first-ever exclusive Hawkeye Republican interview...with me.

http://www.extrememortman.com

So maybe it's not that exclusive then, but like my high school cross-country coach always used to say right before I lost the JV race, "Tom, you have to start somewhere."

 
2006 TURIN OLYMPIC GAMES: Better Olympic site...

Turin, Italy...or

Turin, Iowa?


Clearly, we have more corn.

 
BAYH BIPARTISANSHIP: There's nothing better than a Democratic presidential candidate stopping by to lecture on bipartisanship. Oh wait, there's still sliced bread.

 
JOHN EDWARDS ATTACKS, PART II: Wow, John Edwards is moving up in the world. On February 25th, he'll be headlining a fundraiser for the Johnson County Democrats at Vito's on the downtown ped mall.

Tickets to the event are $25 and the soul of your first born child.

I wonder if he'll run into any hung-over, popped collar, North Face-clad sorority boys passed out in the alley from the $2.75 Coors special the night before?

2/12/2006

 
GREEK EDUCATION: The professors encourage dancing on tables. This is going to be an interesting semester...

 
IOWA NEWS RUNDOWN:

Evan Bayh thinks terrorism is the new black - an issue that's always going to be in style!

Iowa State professor shunned over intelligent design. At least, it wasn't by Doug on Trading Spaces, eh?

Indians, Abramoff and some dude named Doolittle...a story for the ages.

2/09/2006

 
THE POLITICS OF MEDICINE: University of Iowa medical students have accused the Carver College of Medicine of discriminating against conservative and religious students.

This is totally like one of those situations when you're walking down the street and all of the sudden you see a Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks - then you suddenly realize how pervasive the problem is.

At the University of Iowa, it is common practice to deride all stripes of conservatives, often times in class through snarky comments and slanted discussion. I've had my own experiences with blatant discrimination, which I often shrug off.

One encounter last November was not so easily dismissed during a visit to the Career's Center. A counselor, noticing my Bush button, yelled, "Get out of here or take that thing off!" Thinking it was a joke, I just laughed. He glared at me and stormed off. Needless to say, I think I waited an additional hour.

However, this is not to say that all Iowa professors are this bad. When I related this story to a very high-placed, liberal university official, she was disgusted. But,I have had particularly good experiences that I credit, mostly, to my strong convictions.

To remedy the problem, the school is now planning a student led “discussion” between students, faculty and school officials. Reality check here, people. We're bombarded by weeks of front page headlines and chapters of editorials about pink locker rooms in Kinnick, but get a "discussion" for a serious charge of ideological discrimination?

Sounds like your run-of-the-mill public university.

 
IN GREECE...AND IT'S SNOWING: Posting may be a bit slow until I get acclimated to my new environment.

How's it going so far? Nearly got arrested in an IKEA (for taking a picture!), nearly got hit by a car (x10), nearly ordered a full meal speaking German (since my Greek really is that bad), and finally, nearly went to the one Starbucks in Thessaloniki yesterday.

Soon, my friends, soon.

2/05/2006

 
LEAVING ON A JET PLANE: In roughly 12 hours, I'm off to Thessaloniki, Greece, for a few months. In case anyone was concerned, no worries: there is a Starbucks. Because seriously, if there wasn't, this "study abroad" thing wouldn't be happenin'.

It's a horrible, horrible addiction, people.

Oh yeah, and I'll continue to update Hawkeye Republican from my remote location. Posts may be slow in coming for the next few days...

 

LINE UP THE LAWN CHAIRS: Great Iowa Tractor Ride route announced. Maybe Governor Pataki will serve chili?

 
ICE CREAM HATES MILITARY SPENDING: We are a lucky people. Ben Cohen, of the Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, has decided to sink his frozen scoopers into Iowa. Sorry kids, no free ice cream.

Instead, we get an outpost for Cohen's nonprofit, Business Leaders for Sensible Priorities. The nationwide organization seeks to reallocate military spending and consists of approximately 650 business and military leaders, as well as 500,000 online members.

"It seems to me that every four years candidates come through Iowa and it's always all talk, nothing ever changes. Our schools are still crumbling, children still need health care, there's still this energy crisis and millions of kids are still starving around the world," Ben Cohen said.

There is no irony in that statement.

Instead of potentially spending $1 million schlepping around our state, why don't you just name a new ice cream flavor after us? Maybe "Primary Corn"? A nice vanilla swirled with Vermont maple syrup and the sewers of D.C., mixed with little niblets of corn. Just a suggestion.

2/04/2006

 
VOTING SOBER IS BAD: If you live in Costa Rica, the sale of alcohol is prohibited on voting days and it's Super Bowl Sunday.

I say riot in the streets and set some cars on fire. Go wild - pretend it's a G8 Summit.

2/03/2006

 
POLITICAL PATRONAGE GONE AWESOME: So, pretend that you're the grandson of a prominent Iowa senator and you've decided to run in Butler County for an Iowa State House seat. The $1000 question: how would you raise funds?

Answer: clearly, you don't even need to, since your influential grandfather's potential '08 presidential candidate friends will just throw money at you. Grassman's grandson seems to be raking in the dough for his intended '06 bid. Roll call reports that Little Lawnmower has already cut into donations from George Pataki, Bill Frist, Chuck Hagel, Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, Lamar Alexander and the ultimate aisle-gap-bridger, Max Baucus.

2/02/2006

 
TIPPIE MBA - DRINKING TEA AND TAKING NAMES: The Tippie School of Management's MBA rose in the Financial Times' international rankings to 33rd in the world and 7th among US public institutions. That means we're drinking tea and taking names pretty hardcore...like without cream and sugar.

According to UI News Services:
The Tippie MBA ranked 1st among the top 25 US schools in The Financial Times "value for the money" category. This category includes both professional success and the cost of the education. The Tippie program also achieved a 98 percent employment rate at three months after graduation.


That's awesome - if we trample over twenty more schools, we might even be able to switch to coffee!

2/01/2006

 
CARRIE NATION REACHES OUT TO HIGH SCHOOLERS: Apparently, 100 students from around Iowa converged on the Capitol Monday to encourage restrictions on the sale of beer kegs.

For those of you who didn't attend high school, college or life, the sale of kegs is a common way for underage drinkers to get alcohol...and teenage kids want the sale of this item to be restricted...right. Clearly, Bill Frist robots.

At least they didn't bring hatchets.

 
THE STATE OF ETHANOL: Despite suggestions that Iowa's corn jewel may be the soybean of our eye, there have been some rumblings.

 
ACCEPTED: Took the offer as a summer analyst.

 

STATE OF THE UNION: Big fan of the blue tie, but you've got to watch the gleam on the flag pin. Look patriotic Bush, not like a disco king! Sheesh.

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