Hurricane Katrina

Our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone impacted by the horrible catastrophe of Hurricane Katrina. As one of the wealthiest and most advanced nations, we will pull together and make it through this tragedy. God willing, Cafe du Monde and Bourbon Street will be bustling again in a few months.

YOU KNOW IT'S BAD WHEN...individuals are profiting off of imitation Red Cross solicitations.

YOU KNOW IT'S REALLY BAD WHEN...Wal-mart closes. Oh crap.

TSK, TSK, TSK: According to everyone's favorite Kennedy, RFK Jr.(Sorry Ted, but much like the Baldwins y'all are interchangable at this point), Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour caused Hurricane Katrina. In other news, ridiculous crap spewed by Jr. blamed for polluting the Hudson River.


Dear Friend, A Fond Farewell

TRAGEDY, PURE TRAGEDY (IN A BRITISH ACCENT): Look--as a mildly unsophisticated college student I enjoy reading (although this verb doesn't really seem applicable) US Weekly, Cosmopolitan and USA Today like everyone else. Really, the pretty pictures and glossy covers are nearly impossible to pass by.

Next those savvy East Coast editors will add sparkles and we'll all be screwed. Damn them.

After leafing through the Daily Iowan (the University of Iowa's student paper) and checking out which AP stories have been deemed simple enough for student digestion (and of course checking out the police blotter). I swung by Iowa Book and Supply--the downtown evil textbook empire/provider of necessary supplies like Guinness posters--to pick up the latest issue of The Economist. Simple enough task, right?

You can imagine my utter shock when I reached the magazine rack to find a plethora of dumbed down picture books, but no Economist. Apparently, Iowa Book (and the University Book Store) have stopped carrying The Economist because--gasp--no one bought it.

The tragedy, the utter tragedy. In sixth grade, I begged my parents to let me get a subscription of Time and US News and World Report. Clearly, I quickly tired of it. That was until I found The Economist.

I remember fondly when I picked up my first issue of The Economist at the tender age of 16 and became enthralled by the snappy insight and intriguing British spelling. Magic, pure magic.

Now that magic is gone. Unless of course, I get a subscription or go to Barnes and Noble. But for the youth of the University of Iowa, the freshmen that is, there is no hope. They may never know that with an accent, "colour" has a "u".


NEW VOCABULARY: I'm a big proponent of public school education--a fact which often separates me from most conservatives. However besotted the public school system in America is with pitfall liberalism and slipping standards, we can usually pat ourselves on the back when looking across the Atlantic.

An English school's new policy to allow students to swear five times a day is no exception. According to the headmaster of the 1,130 pupil Northamptonshire secondary school,
"The reality is that the f-word is part of these young adults' everyday language."

Whoa...talk about a convoluted thought process! As parents rely more heavily on the school system to inject values into education--effectively forcing teachers to parent--the notion that deeming inappropriate language appropriate at schools flies in the face of common sense.



Bono Update, Part Trois

"I'm a Bono Fan:" You must all be clamoring to know--what is happening in the world of Ireland's preeminent rocker/AIDS activist/proponent of sunglasses indoors? Well my friends, not quite that much since the G8...other than like touring and being a rockstar and stuff...

But fear not. Bono has been in the news. One peripheral (and nearly apolitical) development concerns Bono's relationship with Jesse Helms. At the risk of turning this blog into a poorly-run verson of E's Awful Truth, here it goes.

Jesse Helms will apparently declare in his soon to be released memoirs, "Here’s Where I Stand,” that Bono is "an enormously impressive gentleman” and he is a fan.

Just one more North Carolina Republican that Bono has wooed with his bewitching politicking.


Another Reason to Love Iowa?

That's right. And you thought that there couldn't possibly any more ways that you could love our fair, crop-blessed state. You were wrong.

A man in Iowa may own the world's largest Cheeto. That he bought on Ebay. Strike the above paragraph.

Please forgive the people of Iowa. We know not what we do. You were right.



In Iowa...

The land is green. The corn is tall. Freshman crawling all over campus are occassionally run down by frustrated seniors just trying to get to class...

Ahhhhh, college life. It's a good thing.

Your humble bloggers are currently experiencing their final first week of university life. Over the next few weeks we may revamp this site to make a kinder, gentler Hawkeye Republican--as if we weren't cuddly enough already!

Three Cheers to the University of Iowa!


SIGNING OFF: I've contacted Laura to let her know, and am now posting for you readers out there, that I'm no longer going to be posting on Hawkeye Republican, save for perhaps a few guest posts. I restarted the blog this summer in hopes of making it a forum for different Republicans to post. Invited a few people, but it never reached the level I wanted. As such, I've decided to end the blogging. Laura may continue it on her own. If so, I'll definitely read her posts regularly!




But I Play Guitar...

BONO STILL LOVES YOU: Coldplay frontman Chris Martin has snubbed an invitation to meet British Prime Minister Tony Blair--even after he's witnessed how Bono gracefully tangoes between public opinion and world leaders--because of fears that it would damage his image:
I'm not going to go. I really like Tony Blair. He's interested in the same things as I am - he plays the guitar and he always gives the impression of doing what he can to help.

But I don't particularly want to be photographed with him at the moment.

Thus confirming my fears that I will never meet Chris Martin, since I do not play the guitar or do what I can to help.

Hey Chris, I think naming your child "Apple" damages your image. But, hey, that's just me.



THE BEST STATE EVER: More evidence that Iowa is, in fact, the best state ever (sorry Texas, although you are more keen on becoming your own country after all).

A June 2005 report issued by the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis found that Iowa experienced the strongest real economic growth rate of all 50 states at 8.1%.

Okay, we tied with Nevada, but that really shouldn't count since they have NBC's Las Vegas and CBS's CSI touting their state. And we have Ashton Kutcher. Relevant point? No. Interesting correlation? Perhaps.


Hey, You Sunk Our Battleship!

BECAUSE THE COLD WAR WASN'T THAT IMPORTANT ANYWAY: Don't get me wrong. I love sourdough bread as much as the next kid, but what's up with San Francisco?

As Independent Sources pointed out San Francisco’s supervisors have refused to support moving the battleship Iowa to the city as a floating museum of World War II and the Cold War. Not that I'm really into more government spending, but the reason is ridiculous:
Supervisor Bevan Dufty, who is gay, said the military’s policy on gays and lesbians influenced his vote and that of Supervisor Tom Ammiano, who also is gay, against a battleship Iowa museum for San Francisco.

“For Tom and I it’s very difficult to advocate for some military honor thing when people are being harassed and even killed and are unable to serve in the military because they are gay and lesbian,'’ Dufty said.

Huh. Some military honor thing?



Craziest Politician of the Week--English Edition

Can you guess which one is George?

SORRY TED, MAYBE NEXT WEEK: ACROSS THE POND, while police with heavy-calibre weapons were deployed in Scotland's main railway stations to protect against potential terrorist threats, everyone’s favourite MP was at it again.

You may not have heard of Glasgow’s own George Galloway. (NOTE: Glasgow no longer claims him; since May’s elections East London—here’s lookin’ at you, you silly borderline socialists—has had this prestigious honour.) This striking young lad has made it his personal mission in life to be really, really annoying. I’m not just talkin’ “let’s hold a Congressional investigation” annoying, I’m talkin’ ”I got kicked out of the Labour Party because of my theatrics” annoying. And that's annoying.

Prior to the war in Iraq, Galloway sat down with good ‘ol Saddam to talk oppression--of course how the West has oppressed the Middle East, not like say, the gassing of Kurds...because that’s just common sense, right? Recently, this “maverick” (which is apparently Scottish for idiot) went before a Senate sub-committee investigation **kudos, George--reached new heights of annoyance!** to comment on allegations that he had profited from the Iraqi Oil for Food Program. And then, of course, while Tony and George were up in Gleneagles trying to start the reparations--sorry, I mean aid--to Africa, Galloway claimed that the insidious notion of striking billions of dollars of debt and dumping billions of dollars of aid into Africa was reprehensible...because the UK and US were trying to cover-up the failure in Afghanistan and Iraq...huh? I think someone wants a little Bono time...

Well today, the esteemed Mr. Galloway further commented on the London bombings and subsequent terror crackdowns. Making an analogy he said:
"If I say a car has four wheels and the Ford Motor Company say it has four wheels, that doesn't make me part of the Ford Motor Company."

Uh, does it make you want to buy a Ford? Oh, I see, it just makes you a savvy commentator on subjugated peoples? Right, right…I got it…

But the real reason why George Galloway really deserves the title of “Craziest Politician of the Week” is this terrific comment regarding the London bombings. It’s not that he’s “defending” the London “bombers,” it’s just that, well, he understands:
"If it is a a question of quantum, there is far more blood on the hands of George Bush and Tony Blair than there is on the hands of the murderers who killed those people in London.”

Congratulations Mr. Galloway, it's that type of mentality that justifies terrorist attacks.



Sincerest Apologies

Please accept my sincerest apologies for publishing an extremely frightening picture of Ted Kennedy. As soon as I went to sleep, I experienced horrific nightmares--which I can only imagine you, dear bloggers, suffered from as well. Sweet dreams!

Sorry, just thought that was a really cool picture...this one will make up for crazy Ted...awwwww....


MOVE TO CANADA: Well, apparently Democrats DIDN'T after the 2004 Election. Despite vows from liberals that they would hunker down in the land of hockey, snow and socialism if Bush won, the number of Americans applying to move to Canada actually fell. I was so hoping for one less Baldwin...


SCHMIDT DEFEATS ANGRY BUSH-BASHER: Republican Jean Schmidt defeated Democrat Paul Hackett in the special election for the congressional seat in Ohio's 2nd district. This district is a very conservative district; the former congressman, Rob Portman, never won less than 70% of the vote in his seven election victories. George Bush won two-thirds of the vote in this district in 2000 and 2004. The Cook Partisan Voting Index rated this district as R +15, which speaks volumes when one considers that Bush's own congressional district in Texas is rated nearly the same at R +18. With all this in mind, the fact that Hackett won 48% of the vote will be spun by liberals as bad news for Bush in 2006.

However, keep this in mind:

1) This was a special election, so the turnout is more heavily weighted to the poles of the political spectrum. This skews the vote toward the Democrat candidate in a district where votes in the middle of the district's spectrum probably lean Republican.

2) The Ohio GOP is at its lowest point in years, with Republican Governor Bob Taft the most unpopular governor in the country. Hackett's campaign tied Schmidt to the Taft administration.

3) Ohio's two GOP senators have disenchanted the base this summer. George "Cry me a river" Voinovich opposed John Bolton for the UN, then wailed on the senate floor about it. Mike DeWine joined the Gang of 14, angering some conservatives. In fact, DeWine's participation in the Gang of 14 is widely considered to be the reason Pat DeWine wasn't the Republican nominee for this special election.

4) And most interestingly... Paul Hackett's campaign ads neglected to mention that he's a Democrat! Furthermore, they never mentioned his criticism of the president, whom Hackett told USA Today is a "son of a bitch". Nor did they mention his support of tax hikes. All the ads mentioned was that he is a war veteran. In a general election, Democrat candidates won't be able to hide their party affiliation, nor the albatross of the national Democratic Party.

So conservatives, don't take Schmidt's narrow victory too hard. She had all these four things working against her, yet she still managed to win. Meanwhile, Paul Hackett will have to stick to being the token "Iraq veteran opposed to the Iraq war" guest on Hardball.


1. What other town would possibly put any credence into the half-drunken ramblings of Ted Kennedy?

2. Where else in the country--excluding New Jersey--does one wake up to the sweet intoxicating aroma of sewage?

3. Who designed the sidewalks? Seriously, did the architects think that gravel was good on heels, or did he just anticipate that women would never have to balance brick-to-brick or rock-to-rock on this hallowed ground? Anybody ever heard of concrete or asphalt?


BOLTON RECESSED; VOINOVICH'S TEARS FLOOD SENATE FLOOR: Glad to see that President Bush spent some of political capital on the recess appointment of John Bolton to be Ambassador to the UN. In fact, had Bush not given Bolton a recess appointment in the face of the Senate Democrats' obstruction, I would have been disappointed. Bolton is qualified for the job. He has experience. He will serve the president's interests. Sure, he's criticized the UN, but we should not lament the criticism of an institution that deserves criticism. After all, liberals, John Kerry built an entire presidential campaign on criticizing the current administration. Does that mean he hates the office of the presidency and could not have held the office? Of course not; his criticism was at the actions of the current administration, just as how Bolton's UN criticism wasn't geared toward the institution per se, but rather toward the way it's currently run.

Then there's the issue of using a recess appointment. Harry Reid, Ted Kennedy, Joe Biden, and others call Bush's recess appointment an abuse of power. However, the recess appointment is specifically mentioned in the Constitution; their favorite delay tactic, the filibuster, is not. As such, the recess appointment is no less an abuse of power than is the filibuster. If the Democrats don't want to play fair by giving a candidate an up-or-down vote, then they should not cry when the president uses a recess appointment.

There's still no word yet whether George Voinovich's "kids and grandkids" he cried about when he criticized John Bolton were taken from their homes because of the Bolton announcement.


Splendor in the Grass...

Shall we talk tax cuts, ladies?
The Hawkeye Republican salutes you, beautiful Capitol Hill worker lying in the grass...wasting taxpayer money...


The Hill is BEAUTIFUL!

JOHN THUNE, THAT'S HOT: They seriously must be joking...The Hill recently announced "The 50 Most Beautiful" on Capitol Hill.

This must be a horrible, horrible lie perpetuated by some sort of alliance between the right and left-wing conspiracies...

Barak Obama is the second hottest--um, hem--I mean, "beautiful" person on Capitol Hill? For chrissakes, even Oregon's Republican Senator Gordon Smith made the list! Sure, he looks distinguished with his silver-tipped hair and all, but really?!?!?!

It's like living in some kind of parallel universe where the debate team from my high school went back in time and took over the world! Just in case you really need a booster of self-confidence, check out Iowa's own Cory Crowley...

I am officially disillusioned with life right now.

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