Hawkeye Republican

AND THE NOMINEES ARE...

1. France--From "civil unrest" to voting down the EU constitution, France had a dizzying year of failure. Arthur's Hall puts it best:

France is without a doubt, the most insecure country with any sort of standing in the world. Their constant temper tantrums and stagnant economy should serve to remind us of what the French themselves have suspected for a long time. France does not deserve their current place in the world. France is a worthless country populated by a bunch of insecure socialist women...As the French tantrums for attention and respect continue it only serves to cause us to further question their place in the world. What has France contributed to the world or to freedom in the past 100 or even 200 years? Little to nothing that doesn't involve food, that's for sure. But was there really a time when France was powerful, or when they did matter? I suppose so, but as they botched their revolution, the man who took control of their pathetic little country, Napoleon, wasn't even French. He was Corsican and he grew up hating the French political system for its class based power structure, which he promptly dismantled. Even then, as Napoleon terrorized the monarchies of Europe who weren't accustomed to fighting real wars, his lack of Naval power meant he was never a threat to a real country like England.

Even Napoleon, France's greatest little conqueror, is worthless. That pretty much sucks for France.

2. Kyrgyzstan--Seriously, other than occasional revolutions and territory to conquer, what else do they have to offer?

3. Mauritania--Nomads + slavery = worthless country

4. Bono's Ego--After successfully petitioning G8 leaders to forgive African debt, manifest destiny kicked in and the Ego attempted to conquer Canada and parts of Northern Michigan. Turns out rock stars don't make public policy unless money or Jesse Helms is involved.

Named one of Time's "Persons of the Year" and tapped to write a forward to Jeffrey Sach's nonsensical The End of Poverty, his worthlessness is sure to thrive for years to come.

5. FYR Macedonia--Where ethnic tensions flare like sparklers and still result in a shitty economy.

6. Write-In--feel free to vote for Canada/Lithuania/Mexico/Slovakia!

Based on votes and my omnipotent power, Hawkeye Republican will announce the Most Worthless Country of 2005 later in the week!