WEST SIDE STORY GONE WRONG: Okay the riots in Sydney are nothing like West Side Story, but can't you just imagine surfer dudes snapping text messages while cooing to music? No, me neither.

Jeez, put a steak on the barbie and calm down already, people. You're in the Asia-Pacific, not the heart of Europe.

Paging oppression and intolerance--I mean you, France.

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