Hawkeye Republican

THE THINGS PEOPLE SHOULDN'T SAY: Have you heard someone utter something so ridiculous that you pray natural selection kicks in straight away and removes the waste of space from your sight?

Well folks, in honor of Johnny Depp's recent posturing on the superiority of France and thoughts of returning to the US, I present to you dumb celebrity quotes:

Johnny Depp hates puppies:"America is dumb, is something like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive," he went on to say, "My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out."

Richard Gere loves literary classics:"I keep asking myself where all this personal enmity between George Bush and Saddam Hussein comes from. It's like the story of Captain Ahab and the great white whale from Moby Dick."

Edward Norton-German-Franco Alliance:"It must be good to be in Germany and France because I have completely forgotten what it is like to be proud of your government"

I wonder if Spike Lee supports sweatshops in China too?:"It's ludicrous to expect the whole world to follow what they want. America doesn't have the moral right to tell other people what to do."

Jon Bon Jovi:
"I campaigned hard for Al Gore."

Janeane Garfalo's definition of patriotism:
"Our country is founded on a sham: our forefathers were slave-owning rich white guys who wanted it their way. So when I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.' That you can have a gay parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float cheering, 'We're here, we're queer!' -- that's what makes my heart swell. Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag. I get choked up with pride."

Jeez, every comment from these people is like a drunk dial. Clearly, big movie stars are very intelligent.