10/31/2005
Guess What They're REALLY Thinking
Since I have nothing worthwhile to contribute to the discussion on Samuel Alito Jr.'s appointment to the Supreme Court, let's play everyone's favorite "Guess What They're REALLY Thinking" with Alito's family picture.
For Laura, is it:
a) OMG, the cameramen from FoxNews are so much cuter than CNN's.
b) Dad, quit being such an activist judge and let me have a 2:00 AM curfew.
c) "It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you/But when we are apart I feel it too..."
For Philip, is it:
a) Dude, I am such a lock for Conservative Single magazine's 50 Most Eligible Bachelors.
b) How did I get screwed out of Samuel III?
c) Dad, if you don't sound intelligent speaking after President Bush...
For Martha, is it:
a) Honey, I love you and I'm proud of everything you've done for our family.
b) So you got nominated to the Supreme Court? Big deal, you still mix whites and colors in the laundry.
c) I swear I'm gonna smack Chuck Schumer the next time he says the word "mainstream".
For President Bill Clinton's background portrait, is it (take a deep breath first):
a) My fellow Americans, I did not have sexual relations with either of the two women standing in front of me.
b) Not that Laura's not an attractive, successful young woman with great leadership potential.
c) Look at these suckers in front of me. Too bad I brazenly appointed Ruth Ginsberg to the court over a decade ago.
Good selection by the President. Maybe this is what Reagan meant by Morning in America.
For Laura, is it:
a) OMG, the cameramen from FoxNews are so much cuter than CNN's.
b) Dad, quit being such an activist judge and let me have a 2:00 AM curfew.
c) "It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you/But when we are apart I feel it too..."
For Philip, is it:
a) Dude, I am such a lock for Conservative Single magazine's 50 Most Eligible Bachelors.
b) How did I get screwed out of Samuel III?
c) Dad, if you don't sound intelligent speaking after President Bush...
For Martha, is it:
a) Honey, I love you and I'm proud of everything you've done for our family.
b) So you got nominated to the Supreme Court? Big deal, you still mix whites and colors in the laundry.
c) I swear I'm gonna smack Chuck Schumer the next time he says the word "mainstream".
For President Bill Clinton's background portrait, is it (take a deep breath first):
a) My fellow Americans, I did not have sexual relations with either of the two women standing in front of me.
b) Not that Laura's not an attractive, successful young woman with great leadership potential.
c) Look at these suckers in front of me. Too bad I brazenly appointed Ruth Ginsberg to the court over a decade ago.
Good selection by the President. Maybe this is what Reagan meant by Morning in America.
# posted by Tom Niblock @ 10/31/2005 08:29:00 PM 
