Hawkeye Republican

THAT'S WHY I DRINK PEPSI: We all know that Osama bin Laden is evil with a capital "e." But who would have guessed that the world's most malicious cave-dweller instills morals in Columbian druglords? Or at least profit incentives.

In an attempt to terrorize Americans, bin Laden planned to poison the US coke supply. Luckily, business savvy kingpins had another idea.

According to the Daily Telegraph:

Although the drug lords would have reaped millions of dollars in profits by selling the cocaine to bin Laden, they knew that if his plan succeeded it might effectively destroy the market for their coke in the US for years, sources said.

But that was only one reason they declined bin Laden's offer.

Thank god smugglers understand economics.