Hawkeye Republican

DEBATE?: (AP) Washington, D.C. -- Obama campaign manager David Plouffe announced Wednesday that Barack Obama would debate himself Friday after John McCain postponed his appearance at the scheduled debate to tend to business in Washington. "The American people have the right and the need to hear Barack Obama. In fact, they have the duty. If John McCain doesn't show up, we will go on without him. Senator Obama has the uncanny ability to take both sides of an issue and that ability will stand him in good stead this Friday. If a crisis occurs, Senator Obama will fax the solution to congress. It's not like they listen to him anyway."

MSNBC and CNN commentators were ecstatic over Obama's decision. "It won't make a bit of difference to me whether McCain shows or not," said Keith Olbermann. "We had only planned to show clips of Obama on my show anyway. We can have our staff of political experts speculate as to what John McCain would have said. It will be no different than speculating over what he did say."

"Trust McCain to run off to congress to do his job when there is an important debate to be televised," said Wolf Blitzer. "I knew he would weasel out. The American people have the right to see that Barack Obama is taller than John McCain. Everyone but John Kerry knows that the taller candidate always wins the debate on TV. Ask Jimmy Carter. If he had been six inches taller, we would never have had to endure Reaganomics. "

Campbell Brown reacted angrily. "That sexist McCain should let Sarah Palin off the leash and send her to debate Obama. What is the problem here? I want to know why the Governor of Alaska has never visited any foreign leader. Is she just shy? Everybody knows that state governors should be off visiting in Europe and Asia. Who cares if they have no authority to make treaties or policies for the federal government? I want to know why she doesn't want to talk to me or any other member of the press. All we want to do is ask her if she is really the mother of her child and other pertinent questions. Obama will do just fine without them."

Vice President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.

YOU KNOW, SOMETHING FOR THE FREE TIME: Homeless.

The Bailout Proposal has stalled and the Journal is rightly querying experts on potential success. Will it work? Dr. Robert Shapiro of the New Democrat Network (NDN) is one of those fellas and boy does his statement reek of pandering:

...Robert Shapiro, a former Clinton economic advisor and the chairman of the globalization program at NDN, a Washington think tank, said the program outlined by the administration aimed at the wrong target. Rather than buying assets, he says, the government should provide money to people facing foreclosure, which would prevent the assets from going sour in the first place.

"This crisis will continue until the housing market stabilizes and as increasing foreclosures reduce the value of more mortgage-based securities," Mr. Shapiro said.

Yes. Duh. Gotcha. As our economy continues to fail into a million little foreclosed homes, special interest "experts" can't see the forest through the trees, ahem...petrified wood.

So with all due respect, (and you did advise the Clinton White House, so that's something?) this crisis won't turn into a wee little meltdown after throwing moolah to Americans who simply can't afford their home(s).

We must ensure liquidity in the marketplace.

The Journal probably took a snippet out of context and admittedly, the congruent action is to assist struggling homeowners, but come on!

And hey, Republicans, figure out what a Mortgage-Backed Security is and pretend to patch together enough double-speak to convince us that the Hasbro Brothers don't know more about banking than you! That Iowaopoly gets me every time...

Much like the Arnold, we're making a comeback into politics. And just like the Hawkeye Republican, that made no sense.

Oh politics. Stay tuned.