Hawkeye Republican

2008-10-01T21:26:00.002-05:00

AWESOME IDEA OF THE DAY: The Bailout Bill's theme song should be "Livin' on a Prayer." Because it's halfway there.

Aren't you glad you stopped by?

2008-09-26T11:32:00.002-05:00

DEBATE?: (AP) Washington, D.C. -- Obama campaign manager David Plouffe announced Wednesday that Barack Obama would debate himself Friday after John McCain postponed his appearance at the scheduled debate to tend to business in Washington. "The American people have the right and the need to hear Barack Obama. In fact, they have the duty. If John McCain doesn't show up, we will go on without him. Senator Obama has the uncanny ability to take both sides of an issue and that ability will stand him in good stead this Friday. If a crisis occurs, Senator Obama will fax the solution to congress. It's not like they listen to him anyway."

MSNBC and CNN commentators were ecstatic over Obama's decision. "It won't make a bit of difference to me whether McCain shows or not," said Keith Olbermann. "We had only planned to show clips of Obama on my show anyway. We can have our staff of political experts speculate as to what John McCain would have said. It will be no different than speculating over what he did say."

"Trust McCain to run off to congress to do his job when there is an important debate to be televised," said Wolf Blitzer. "I knew he would weasel out. The American people have the right to see that Barack Obama is taller than John McCain. Everyone but John Kerry knows that the taller candidate always wins the debate on TV. Ask Jimmy Carter. If he had been six inches taller, we would never have had to endure Reaganomics. "

Campbell Brown reacted angrily. "That sexist McCain should let Sarah Palin off the leash and send her to debate Obama. What is the problem here? I want to know why the Governor of Alaska has never visited any foreign leader. Is she just shy? Everybody knows that state governors should be off visiting in Europe and Asia. Who cares if they have no authority to make treaties or policies for the federal government? I want to know why she doesn't want to talk to me or any other member of the press. All we want to do is ask her if she is really the mother of her child and other pertinent questions. Obama will do just fine without them."

Vice President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.

2008-09-26T01:59:00.000-05:00

YOU KNOW, SOMETHING FOR THE FREE TIME: Homeless.

An Open Letter to Dr. Robert Shapiro

2008-09-26T01:33:00.000-05:00

The Bailout Proposal has stalled and the Journal is rightly querying experts on potential success. Will it work? Dr. Robert Shapiro of the New Democrat Network (NDN) is one of those fellas and boy does his statement reek of pandering:

...Robert Shapiro, a former Clinton economic advisor and the chairman of the globalization program at NDN, a Washington think tank, said the program outlined by the administration aimed at the wrong target. Rather than buying assets, he says, the government should provide money to people facing foreclosure, which would prevent the assets from going sour in the first place.

"This crisis will continue until the housing market stabilizes and as increasing foreclosures reduce the value of more mortgage-based securities," Mr. Shapiro said.

Yes. Duh. Gotcha. As our economy continues to fail into a million little foreclosed homes, special interest "experts" can't see the forest through the trees, ahem...petrified wood.

So with all due respect, (and you did advise the Clinton White House, so that's something?) this crisis won't turn into a wee little meltdown after throwing moolah to Americans who simply can't afford their home(s).

We must ensure liquidity in the marketplace.

The Journal probably took a snippet out of context and admittedly, the congruent action is to assist struggling homeowners, but come on!

And hey, Republicans, figure out what a Mortgage-Backed Security is and pretend to patch together enough double-speak to convince us that the Hasbro Brothers don't know more about banking than you! That Iowaopoly gets me every time...

Hawkeye Republican Will Be Back

2008-09-23T15:25:00.001-05:00

Much like the Arnold, we're making a comeback into politics. And just like the Hawkeye Republican, that made no sense.

Oh politics. Stay tuned.

The Up and Up

2007-06-05T21:28:00.000-05:00

Those of you who know me well (and do realize that I feel sorry for each and every one of you) know that I absolutely love the rock band that is Relient K. I love Journey too, but that's another story for another time...

Surprisingly, Relient K's latest CD, 5 Score and Seven Years Ago, isn't really that good. The only great song on the CD is the same one that has pretty much described my entire last semester of college. It should've been a victory march, but instead it turned into one crushing rejection after another. The details aren't important, but I was hurting alot more than most people knew underneath all those awards.

I may never know why things turned out as badly as they did, but I suspect God had amazing reasons that will become abundantly clear in His timing.

If I was as cool as Christina, I'd add this in my "Now Listening" box.

Yesterday was not quite what it could've been.
As were most of all the days before.
But I swear today with every breath I'm breathing in.
I'll be trying to make it so much more.

Cause it seems I get so hung up on.
The history of what's gone wrong.
That the hope of a new day is sometimes hard to see.

But I'm finally catching on to it.
Yeah the past is just a conduit.
And the light there at the end is where I'll be.

Cause I'm on the up and up.I'm on the up and up.
And I haven't given up.
Given up on what.
I know I'm capable of.

Yeah I'm on the up and up.
Yeah there's nothing left to prove.
Cause I'm just trying to be
A better version of me for you.

To be prosperous would not require much of me.
You see contentment is the one thing it entails.
To be content with where I am,
And getting where I need to be.
And moving past the past where I have failed.

You never cease to supply
Me with what I need for a good life.
So when I'm down I'll hold my head up high.
Cause you're the reason why.
-Relient K

Should've Seen This Coming

2007-05-14T13:42:00.000-05:00

Have you ever read something and thought to yourself "I really should've seen this one coming." If not, then, way to go. But if you have, then you'll understand my reaction when I read this article on CNN.com.

As a fellow commencement speaker myself (I had the bigger in-house audience, not to rub it in or anything), I feel bad for President Bush that he had to put up with those protestors at a college graduation ceremony. I'm glad I didn't have to deal with crazy people holding signs that read "Tom's a Dummy" (which, by the way, you can get on e-Bay for $5.95...they're even laminated for $1 extra!) and marching outside Hancher Auditorium on Saturday morning while I spoke.

If the President had been discussing war policy (which would've been a very bad idea, I was worried my sandcastle metaphor would be boring enough as it is), I could understand. But protestors at commencement? Gimme a break.

Secondly, how delicious is the quote from a Mr. Ronny Menzie? "I didn't finish my thesis because I didn't want my graduation with him." Really? You didn't finish your thesis because W was in town for the ceremony? You couldn't just finish your stupid paper and say "The heck with this school, I'll get my diploma in the mail 6 months from now"? Now I've heard my share of great excuses for people who want to stick around for a fifth year, and some are even legit. This isn't one of them.

And don't get me wrong, I think it's great that older students like Mr. Menzie (age 35) come back and finish their degrees. They pay attention in class, they do their homework, they tend not to end up passed out on the sidewalk outside Burge with their pants around their ankles at 2 AM on a Sunday morning. But people like him give people like them a bad name.

Oh Crap

2007-05-02T22:13:00.000-05:00

Beer drinkers beware: a barley shortage in 2006 will raise the price of German beer this month. What's the cause of this great evil? Ethanol.

Kudos to the bloggers at Foreign Policy, a quirky journal of international relations trying its darndest to differentiate itself from the grandeur of Foreign Affairs, for bringing this story to my attention.

Lobbyists for the beer industry, who are apprently not having much success in Venezuela (see: Hawkeye Republican 04/04/2007), claim that subsidizing corn, soybeans, and rapeseed grown for alternative energy sources gives farmers an incentive to plant these crops in their fields instead of barley. As a result, the supply of barley decreases, which causes its price to increase. Since barley, an input in the brewing process, is more expensive, the price of its tasty final output is also more expensive.

In other words, from society's point of view, the only thing worse than driving to the bars in downtown Iowa City is driving a car that runs on ethanol to the bars in downtown Iowa City.

But wait, there's more to this story. The decrease in barley production could also be due to the fact that larger breweries in Germany band together and form an oligopoly in the beer market to keep barley production low. With those businesses using their market power to decrease the supply of barley and increase the price of beer, it's hard to blame ethanol subsidies alone for emptying the pockets of poor, drunk college students everywhere.

Fewer subsidies and more competition means cheaper beer. Hugo Chavez beware.

The Dark Side of the Yellow Revolution

2007-04-13T18:04:00.000-05:00

Two posts in one day, not bad. Not bad at all.

With the yellow revolution (ethanol) underway in the West, it's appropriate every now and then to consider the incontrovertable fact that every choice implies a trade-off. In public policy, these trade-offs mean that oftentimes, the actions taken to solve one problem cause different problems down the road.

Take the goal of energy independence. By decreasing our reliance on foreign oil, we can decrease our reliance on foreign countries who produce oil, many of whom are unstable and prone to fomenting hatred of the United States and its allies.

Many, especially in this state, promote corn-based ethanol as the solution to our imported oil crisis. However, the increasing use of ethanol is not without its problems: increased demand for corn increases the price of other products that use corn as an input, such as meat. The effect of increased demand for corn may hurt the food budget of the world's poor also.

While I've seen the first effect in action at home (cattle and pork producers are paying higher prices for feed corn), the second may be overblown. Higher input prices could spur greater innovation in agricultural sectors, leading to higher yields for all crops (soybeans included). It could also cause cattle and pork producers to find new ways of feeding cows and pigs. Even better, high corn prices could also cause Washington to open US markets to sugar-based ethanol from Brazil, which is currently the world's most efficient way to produce ethanol.

In energy policy, as in all things, discretion is the best course of action.

Should This Man Be President?

2007-04-13T16:22:00.000-05:00

The following is the text of Senator John McCain's speech at the Virginia Military Academy on Wednesday, April 11th. His perspective on the White House is neatly captured by the phrase, "For my part, I would rather lose a campaign than a war." This is the essence of statesmanship.

Special thanks to National Review Online for posting it.

"Thank you. I know that seated in the front of this hall are VMI cadets who have served in Iraq. I am grateful for your service, honored by your presence, and mindful that I speak to an audience that can discern truth from falsehood in a politician’s appraisal of the war. You know, better than most, whether our cause is just, necessary and winnable. You have risked much to make it so. Thank you. I’d also like to salute a few old comrades of mine, Orson Swindle, Jim Berger and Paul Galanti, whose example of steadfast courage helped to sustain me in a difficult time.

This institution is steeped in the ideals of service and sacrifice exemplified by the veterans here today. VMI has helped to form the character of many fine patriots, none greater than George Marshall, whose long, selfless service to our country was of inestimable value in some of the most consequential moments of the last century. As we celebrate this year the 60th anniversary of the Marshall Plan, VMI’s Corps of Cadets should take renewed pride from their association with his good name and in knowing the lesson of his character and patriotism has been a part of your education.

I just returned from my fifth visit to Iraq. Unlike the veterans here today, I risked nothing more threatening than a hostile press corps. And my only mission was to inform my opinions with facts. We still face many difficult challenges in Iraq. That is undeniable. But we have also made, in recent weeks, measurable progress in establishing security in Baghdad and fighting al Qaeda in Anbar province. To deny the difficulties and uncertainties ahead is an egregious disservice to the public. But as General Petraeus implements his plan to correct the flawed strategy we followed in the past, and attempts to spare the United States and the world the catastrophe of an American defeat, it is an equal disservice to dismiss early signs of progress. And now we confront a choice as historically important as any we have faced in a long while. Will this nation’s elected leaders make the politically hard but strategically vital decision to give General Petraeus our full support and do what is necessary to succeed in Iraq? Or will we decide to take advantage of the public’s frustration, accept defeat, and hope that whatever the cost to our security the politics of defeat will work out better for us than our opponents? For my part, I would rather lose a campaign than a war.

However it ends, the war in Iraq will have a profound influence on the future of the Middle East, global stability, and the security of the United States, which will remain, for the foreseeable future, directly affected by events in that dangerous part of the world. The war is part of a broader struggle in the Arab and Muslim world, the struggle between violent extremists and the forces of modernity and moderation. In the early days after 9/11, our country was united in a single purpose: to find the terrorists bent on our destruction and eliminate the threat they posed to us. In the intervening years, we have learned the complexity of the struggle against radical Islamic ideology. The extremists — a tiny percentage of the hundreds of millions of peaceful Muslims — are flexible, intelligent, determined and unconstrained by international borders. They wish to return the world to the 7th century, and they will use any means, no matter how inhumane, to eliminate anyone who stands in the way. But the vast majority of Muslims are trying to modernize their societies to meet the challenges of the 21st century. While al Qaeda seeks to destroy, millions of Muslims attempt to build the same elements of a good life that all of us want — security, opportunity, peace, and hope.

The war on terror, the war for the future of the Middle East, and the struggle for the soul of Islam — of which the war in Iraq constitutes a key element — are bound together. Progress in one requires progress in all. The many complex challenges we face require more than a military response. This is a contest of ideas and values as much as it is one of bullets and bombs. We must gain the active support of modernizers across the Muslim world, who want to share in the benefits of the global system and its economic success, and who aspire to the political freedom that is, I truly believe, the natural desire of the human heart. No matter how much attention their ruthless tactics receive, terrorists are not the true face of Islam. Devout Muslims in Lebanon, Indonesia, Pakistan and Egypt, Morocco, Bahrain, and in Iraq, aspire to progress for their societies in which basic human needs are met for more than the privileged few and basic human rights are respected.

The United States needs stronger alliances, coalitions, and partnerships worldwide to engage this long and multidimensional struggle. We need to pay careful attention to America’s image and moral credibility. And in this broad effort, the outcome of the war in Iraq will play a pivotal role.

On my trip I traveled to Baghdad, Ramadi, and Tikrit, met with Iraqi cabinet officers, our top military leadership, including Generals Petraeus and Odierno, and with embassy officials, including our new ambassador, Ryan Crocker. I also had the privilege of spending time with our soldiers, from generals to privates. Their courage and resolve in this frustrating war is an inspiration, and serves as a reminder of our obligations to avoid the expediency of easy, but empty answers or the allure of political advantage to choose the path in Iraq that best honors their sacrifices.

We’re going to need their courage more than ever. The divisions in Iraqi society are deep, and the need for greater security critical. Innocent Iraqis are still being murdered, and our soldiers are braving dangers no less threatening than in the past. Every day we read about or watch on television the latest car bombing, IED explosion or sniper attack. But something else is happening, too. There are the first glimmers of progress under General Petraeus’ political-military strategy. While these glimmers are no guarantee of success, and though they come early in the implementation of the new strategy, I believe they are cause for very cautious optimism.

For the first time in my visits to Iraq, our delegation was able to drive — not fly by helicopter— from the airport to downtown Baghdad. For the first time we met with a Sunni tribal leader in Anbar province, who is working with American and Iraqi forces to fight al Qaeda. Sixteen of the twenty-four Sunni tribal leaders in Anbar are now working with us. We visited Iraqi and American forces deployed together in Baghdad — an integral part of the new security plan — where they maintain a presence in a neighborhood cleared of militias and terrorists, and hold the ground they have retaken rather than return to base, after which the enemy returns to impose its will again on a defenseless population. The government of Prime Minister Maliki is delivering on its promise to deploy Iraqi brigades to Baghdad. A plan to share oil revenues equitably among all Iraqis has been approved by Iraqi ministers and is pending approval by the parliament. After an important visit by Prime Minister Maliki to Ramadi in Sunni dominated Anbar, he promised a new policy to allay Sunni fears that they will be excluded from sharing in the political future of the country. An important result of the new security plan is the cooperation we are receiving from the Iraqi people, who are beginning to provide us with actionable intelligence about the whereabouts and plans of the enemy. These welcome developments have occurred even though only three of our five additional brigades have arrived.

These and other indicators of progress are encouraging, but they are not determinative. I understand the damage false optimism does to public patience and support. I learned long ago to be skeptical of official reports that are long on wishful thinking and short on substance. As we make progress in some areas, the enemy strikes where we do not have as great a presence. But security in the capital is indispensable to a greater level of security throughout the country so that political and economic progress can occur. And in Baghdad we are making progress. We have a long way to go, but for the first time in four years, we have a strategy that deals with how things really are in Iraq and not how we wish them to be.

After my first visit to Iraq in 2003, I argued for more troops. I took issue with statements characterizing the insurgency as a few “dead-enders” or being in its ‘last throes.’ I criticized the search and destroy strategy and argued for a counter-insurgency approach that separated the reconcilable population from the irreconcilable. That is the course now followed by General Petraeus, and the brave Americans and coalition troops he has the honor to command.

It is the right strategy. General Petraeus literally wrote the book on counter insurgency. He is a determined, resourceful and bold commander. Our troops, many of whom have served multiple tours in Iraq, are performing with great skill and bravery. But the hour is late and, despite the developments I just described, we should have no illusion that success is certain. But having been a critic of the way this war was fought and a proponent of the very strategy now being followed, it is my obligation to encourage Americans to give it a chance to succeed. To do otherwise would be contrary to the interests of my country and dishonorable.

Many in Washington have called for an end to our involvement in Iraq. Yet they offer no opinion about the consequences of this course of action beyond a vague assurance that all will be well if the Iraqis are left to work out their differences themselves. It is obviously true that no military solution is capable of doing what the Iraqis won’t do politically. But, my friends, no political solution has a chance to succeed when al Qaeda is free to foment civil war and Iraqis remain dependent on sectarian militias to protect their children from being murdered.

America has a vital interest in preventing the emergence of Iraq as a Wild West for terrorists, similar to Afghanistan before 9/11. By leaving Iraq before there is a stable Iraqi governing authority we risk precisely this, and the potential consequence of allowing terrorists sanctuary in Iraq is another 9/11 or worse. In Iraq today, terrorists have resorted to levels of barbarism that shock the world, and we should not be so naïve as to believe their intentions are limited solely to the borders of that country. We Americans are their primary enemy, and we Americans are their ultimate target. A power vacuum in Iraq would invite further interference from Iran at a time when Tehran already feels emboldened enough to develop nuclear weapons, threaten Israel and America, and kidnap British sailors. If the government collapses in Iraq, which it surely will if we leave prematurely, Iraq’s neighbors, from Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, Turkey and Egypt, will feel pressure to intervene on the side of their favored factions. This uncertain swirl of events could cause the region to explode and foreclose the opportunity for millions of Muslims and their children to achieve freedom. We could face a terrible choice: watch the region burn, the price of oil escalate dramatically and our economy decline, watch the terrorists establish new base camps or send American troops back to Iraq, with the odds against our success much worse than they are today.

To enumerate the strategic interests at stake in Iraq does not address our moral obligation to a people we liberated from Saddam Hussein’s tyranny. I suspect many in this audience, and most members of Congress, look back at America’s failure to act to prevent genocide in Rwanda with shame. I know I do. And yet I fear the potential for genocide and ethnic cleansing in Iraq is even worse. The sectarian violence, the social divisions, the armaments, the weakened security apparatus of the state — all the ingredients are there. Unless we fight to prevent it, our withdrawal will be coupled with a genocide in which we are complicit. Given our security interests and our moral investment in Iraq, so long as we have a chance to prevail we must try to prevail. As General Petraeus has repeatedly stated, it will be several months or more before we know with any confidence whether we can turn this war around. Elements of the new civil-military strategy are still being drafted, almost half of the additional troops have yet to arrive, and many of the new civilians have yet to take up their posts. We are off to a good start, but significant results will take time.

What struck me upon my return from Baghdad is the enormous gulf between the harsh but hopeful realities in Iraq, where politics is for many a matter of life and death, and the fanciful and self-interested debates about Iraq that substitute for statesmanship in Washington. In Iraq, American and Iraqi soldiers risk everything to hold the country together, to prevent it from becoming a terrorist sanctuary and the region from descending into the dangerous chaos of a widening war. In Washington, where political calculation seems to trump all other considerations, Democrats in Congress and their leading candidates for President, heedless of the terrible consequences of our failure, unanimously confirmed our new commander, and then insisted he be prevented from taking the action he believes necessary to safeguard our country’s interests. In Iraq, hope is a fragile thing, but all the more admirable for the courage and sacrifice necessary to nurture it. In Washington, cynicism appears to be the quality most prized by those who accept defeat but not the responsibility for its consequences.

Before I left for Iraq, I watched with regret as the House of Representatives voted to deny our troops the support necessary to carry out their new mission. Democratic leaders smiled and cheered as the last votes were counted. What were they celebrating? Defeat? Surrender? In Iraq, only our enemies were cheering. A defeat for the United States is a cause for mourning not celebrating. And determining how the United States can avert such a disaster should encourage the most sober, public-spirited reasoning among our elected leaders not the giddy anticipation of the next election. Democrats who voted to authorize this war, and criticized the failed strategy that has led us to this perilous moment, have the same responsibility I do, to offer support when that failure is recognized and the right strategy is proposed and the right commanders take the field to implement it or, at the least, to offer an alternative strategy that has some relationship to reality.

Democrats argue we should redirect American resources to the ‘real’ war on terror, of which Iraq is just a sideshow. But whether or not al Qaeda terrorists were a present danger in Iraq before the war, there is no disputing they are there now, and their leaders recognize Iraq as the main battleground in the war on terror. Today, al Qaeda terrorists are the ones preparing the car bombs, firing the Katyusha rockets, planting the IEDs. They maneuver in the midst of Iraq’s sectarian conflict, sparking and fueling the horrendous violence, destroying efforts at political reconciliation, killing innocents on both sides in the hope of creating a conflagration that will cause Americans to lose heart and leave, so they can return to their primary mission — planning and executing attacks on the United States, and destabilizing America’s allies.

It is impossible to separate sectarian violence from the war against al Qaeda. Al Qaeda is following an explicit strategy to foment civil war in Iraq. The only way to reduce and finally end sectarian violence is to provide greater security to the population than we have in the past, as we are doing now in Baghdad; to encourage Iraqis to abandon their reliance on local militias, and to destroy al Qaeda and other truly irreconcilable enemies of the United States and the Iraqi people.

Our defeat in Iraq would constitute a defeat in the war against terror and extremism and would make the world a much more dangerous place. The enemies we face there harbor the same depraved indifference to human life as those who killed three thousand innocent Americans on a September morning in 2001. A couple of days before I arrived in Baghdad, a suicide car bomb destroyed a large, busy marketplace. It was a bit unusual, because new U.S. and Iraqi security measures in Baghdad have reduced the number of car bomb attacks. But this time the terrorists had a new tactic: they drove their car to a security checkpoint and were waved through because there were two small children in the back seat. The terrorists then walked away from the car, leaving the children inside it, and triggered the explosion. If the terrorists are willing to do this terrible thing to Iraqi children, what are they willing to do to our children?

Some argue the war in Iraq no longer has anything to do with us; that it is a hopelessly complicated mess of tribal warfare and sectarian conflict. The situation is complex, and very difficult. Yet from one perspective it is quite simple. We are engaged in a basic struggle: a struggle between humanity and inhumanity; between builders and destroyers. If fighting these people and preventing the export of their brand of radicalism and terror is not intrinsic to the national security and most cherished values of the United States, I don’t know what is.Consider our other strategic challenges in the region: preventing Iran from going nuclear; stabilizing Afghanistan against a resurgent Taliban; the battle for the future of Pakistan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia and others; protecting Israel’s security; the struggle for Lebanon’s independence. Does any honest observer believe those challenges will be easier to confront and at lesser cost in American blood and treasure if the United States accepts defeat in Iraq?

We all agree a military solution alone will not solve the problems of Iraq. There must be a political agreement among Iraqis that allows all groups to participate in the building of their nation, to share in its resources and to live in peace with each other. But without greater security imposed by the United States military and the Iraqi Army, there can be no political solution. As Americans and Iraqis sacrifice to provide that security, Iraq’s leaders must do the hard work of political reconciliation. We can help them get there, but we cannot assume their responsibilities. Unless they accept their own obligations to all Iraqis, we will all fail, and America, Iraq and the world will have to live with the terrible consequences. We are giving Iraq’s leaders and people the chance to have a better future, but they must seize it.

In the many mistakes we have made in this war, a few lessons have become clear. America should never undertake a war unless we are prepared to do everything necessary to succeed, and unless we have a realistic and comprehensive plan for success. We did not meet this responsibility initially. We are trying to do so now. Responsible political leaders — statesmen — do not add to the burdens our troops carry. That is what Democrats, intentionally or not, have done by failing to provide them with the resources necessary to succeed in their mission. Everyday that passes without the necessary funds appropriated to sustain our troops, our chances of success in Iraq dwindle and our military readiness declines further. We have sent the best Americans among us to fight in Iraq, at the least, we must give them the tools they need to do their job. When the President vetoes, as he should, the bill that refuses to support General Petraeus’ new plan, I hope Democrats in Congress will heed the advice of one of their leading candidates for President, Senator Obama, and immediately pass a new bill to provide support to our troops in Iraq without substituting their partisan interests for those of our troops and our country.

I know the pain war causes. I understand the frustration caused by our mistakes in this war. I sympathize with the fatigue of the American people. And I regret sincerely the additional sacrifices imposed on the brave Americans who defend us. But I also know the toll a lost war takes on an army and a country. We, who are willing to support this new strategy, and give General Petraeus the time and support he needs, have chosen a hard road. But it is the right road. It is necessary and just. Democrats, who deny our soldiers the means to prevent an American defeat, have chosen another road. It may appear to be the easier course of action, but it is a much more reckless one, and it does them no credit even if it gives them an advantage in the next election. This is an historic choice, with ramifications for Americans not even born yet. Let’s put aside for a moment the small politics of the day. The judgment of history should be the approval we seek, not the temporary favor of the latest public opinion poll.

We all respect the sacrifices made by our soldiers. We all mourn the losses they have suffered in this war. But let us honor them by doing all we can to ensure their sacrifices were not made in vain. Let us show an appropriate humility by recognizing that so little is asked of us compared to the burdens we imposed on them, and let us show just a small, but significant measure of their courage, resolve and patriotism by putting our country’s interests before every personal or political consideration.

In closing, I’d like to bring to your attention the gallantry and patriotism of one American who served with distinction in Iraq, a Navy SEAL, who refuses to quit his mission and let the country he loves so well suffer the terrible harm our defeat would entail. A few days ago, Petty Officer First Class Mark Robbins’ unit was ambushed outside Baghdad. During the ensuing firefight, he spotted an insurgent with an RPG, and immediately stepped out from cover and exposed himself to enemy fire to take out the terrorist before he could fire. He saved the lives of his comrades, but was gravely wounded as he did so. He was shot in the eye by another insurgent with an AK-47. The bullet exited the back of his head about three inches behind his ear. He was initially knocked unconscious but came to, continued to fight and then, despite the severity of his wound, walked to the evacuation helicopter. He was eventually taken to Landstuhl military hospital in Germany. As is the custom of Navy SEALs, he was accompanied by one of his comrades, Petty Officer Second class McLean Swink.

On our way home from Iraq, our delegation stopped in Germany for refueling and crew rest, and I had the privilege of visiting some of our wounded at Landstuhl. I briefly stopped in Mark Robbins’ room, but he was sedated and unable then to communicate. I spent a few moments there, and talked to his buddy, before I went to visit other wounded soldiers. Not too long after I had left Mark’s room, Petty Officer Swink found me and told me Mark was awake and had asked to see me. So I returned. When I entered his room and approached his bedside, he struggled with great difficulty to sit up, stiffened his body as if he were trying to stand at attention, grasped my hand tightly and wouldn’t let go. And then he whispered to me not to worry, “We can win this fight. We can win this fight.” Mark, as another person observed, looks like the “toughest kid on the high school football team.” He is tough, and brave, and very young. But more than that, he’s an inspiration to those who are only called upon to subordinate a temporary political advantage to the security of our good and great nation. Petty Officer Mark Robbins, an American hero, believes we can still win this fight. I’ll take his word for it, and accept my responsibility to help the cause he sacrificed so much to defend. Thank you.”

Why Bother?

2007-04-05T20:21:00.000-05:00

Ah spring. When it's not pretending to snow, the flowers are blooming, the sun is shining, and the air is filled with excitement and anticipation as fresh-faced high school seniors begin to unwrap the college admissions letters that will change their lives forever.

Well, for some of them, anyway.

There are three reasons why I really don't have much sympathy for smart high school kids who can't get into [insert name of overpriced private institution here]:

1. I applied to four schools (Columbia, Georgetown, Brown, and Iowa) and batted a minor league .250 (I only got accepted by Iowa, who even then sent me a rejection letter before they got it right).

2. I spent last summer at a leadership program in Washington DC with many students from schools I couldn't get into straight out of high school. Needless to say, there wasn't much of a difference between me and them (except for the fact that my education for three years at Iowa cost as much as one year at an Ivy League-caliber school).

3. I got into graduate programs to study international relations at Princeton, Harvard, and Johns Hopkins after spending four wonderful years at Iowa. I wouldn't trade my days here for any other school. I wouldn't trade one Saturday afternoon in Kinnick for four years of rock star professors and the chance to room with a future President. I did always want to marry a Kennedy, but that's another story for another time...

I'll admit; I was pretty broken up April 1, 2003, when three rejection letters swamped my mailbox. But I've spent the last three years telling prospective students that you can go to Iowa and do just as well as the kids at Harvard. Where you go to school is not nearly as important as what you do once you get there. It isn't easy to succeed anywhere, but it is possible almost everywhere.

Who Got The Hooch?

2007-04-04T21:03:00.000-05:00

Not Venezuelans, that's who: "President" Hugo Chavez prompted a public outcry this week when he restricted the sale of alcohol to decrease the deaths caused by drunk driving during Holy Week. Some of the most vociferious protests came from the delightfully-named "Margarita Island," the existence of which immediately moves Venezuela from #113 to #2 on my list of must-visit vacation spots. (#1 is still a summer Alaskan cruise. How cool would that be?)

The partial ban is particularly devastating to local commerce because, according to one bar owner, “Holy Week is the best week of the year because people don’t work, they go out and spend.” Jesus of Nazareth, the popular lush and alleged 'King of the Jews', was not available for comment.

Unsurprisingly, the ban remains largely unenforceable. Senor Chavez would have known this two weeks ago had he spent more time reading American history textbooks (see: Prohibition) and less time calling its elected leaders "the devil."

The Hawkeye Republican takes no official stance on the legal consumption of alcohol in moderate amounts, although it strongly condemns drunk driving regardless of its country of origin and all acts of criminal mischief justified by haze of drunkness.

Mostly, we just like to make fun of socialists.

Maybe, Just Maybe

2007-02-03T16:43:00.000-06:00

Today's post is more Hawkeye, less Republican for a change: congrats to the men's basketball team for a clutch home win over the Indiana Hoosiers. Given that we were expected to finish 9th in the Big Ten before the season started, I've been relatively impressed with this year's team. More importantly, this win keeps the Hawks in contention for a spot in the NCAA tournament (quit laughing, UNI).

After today's win, the Hawks are 4th in the Big Ten with seven conference games left to play. We have a great chance of beating Northwestern, Purdue, and Illinois at home. On the road, we're also in good shape to steal victories from Minnesota and Penn State. On the downside, I won't expect to see anything spectacular in Madison on February 10th or East Lansing a week later.

So let's pretend that we finish the season strong at 5-2. That leaves us with a final record of 18-12 overall and 10-6 in the Big Ten (probably 4th or 5th place, depending on how the rest of the league shapes up) heading into the Big Ten Tournament. Assuming we don't win the tournament (which is never a safe assumption for a Steve Alford-coached team), that's the textbook definition of a bubble team.

Side note #1: Major props (I guess that's what they say in basketball) to the Hawks embattled center Seth Gorney, who outplayed Indiana's highly-regarded forward D.J. White.

Side note #2: What is a Hoosier anyway?

Good News For A Change

2007-01-31T00:11:00.000-06:00

The front page story of the Chicago Tribune (and, surprisingly, only the Chicago Tribune) contains some mixed news from Iraq. Moqtada Sadr, the spirtual leader of one of Iraq's most troublesome private militias, has pledged not to attack US troops patrolling his strongholds.

The upside: Sadr's promise amounts to an ad hoc ceasefire that will provide the opportunity for American and Iraqi forces to develop the security apparatus necessary to end the violence in Baghdad. The ultimate solution to violence in Iraq is the final disarmamenet of all private militias, and a temporary ceasefire provides the "space" for the political compromise necessary to ensure that such an agreement can occur. The militias will only disarm when they trust that their religious enemies will not take up arms, and this development is a positive step in that direction.

On the other hand, Sadr's move is strategic. Regardless of whatever impression the New York times gives you, Sadr loses badly when he fights American forces. If his forces lay low long enough, the violence will abate. The American forces will have reason to pull out, and after we're gone, Sadr can resume his bloody rise to power.

Even still, a break in the violence in Baghdad is good news to the ears of bloggers here at the Hawkeye Republican. Had the President followed the wise men of Washington and begun plans for a drawn-down/redeployment/retreat from Baghdad in 4-6 months, it is likely that Sadr's militia would be arming itself instead at this point.

A Good First Step, But...

2007-01-28T23:40:00.000-06:00

Historic news from the Middle East that you probably won't read in the paper: Israel appoints a Muslim Arab to its cabinet. The article doesn't specify what Galeb Magadla will actually do in government, but it certainly represents a positive development in regional relations. He would serve as a useful envoy to the broken Palestinian and Lebanese governments and a capable representative to more established, Israel-friendly Arab states like Egypt and Jordan.

One particularly promising scenario involves using him to broker peace between Israel and Syria (article available on The Economist, subscription required). Apparently Syria has made quiet diplomatic overtures to Israel, only to be rebuffed by Israel's prime minister Ehud Ohlmert for fear of upsetting the Americans. Syria has done terrible things in Iraq, but even the faint hope of peace between Syria and Israel is a great development for the war-torn region. President Bush should not waste this opportunity to help a dependable ally and create a new proxy alliance with a strategic Muslim Arab state.

Unfortunately, this action does not address the root problem of violence in the Middle East. Contrary to Jimmy Carter's fuzzy thinking, Israel is not the impediment to peace and freedom in the Middle East. The problems are poor governance and extremism. The government in Palestine cannot function, and therefore cannot be trusted to deliver on any promises made with the Israelis. It isn't Lebanon's fault their country does not function; blame Hezbollah and their cheerleaders in Iran for last summer's catastrophe. Iraq will someday function, provided America does not lose its courage in the coming storm of casaulties (which will increase substantially thanks to this change in strategy). Where countries do not work properly, terrorists reign. Where terrorists reign, entire groups of people can suffer greatly.

Isreael is far from perfect, but it is not to blame for the suffering in the Middle East.

Honor To Whom Honor Is Owed

2007-01-22T15:11:00.000-06:00

In 26 words, the new Secretary General of the UN has restored my faith in humanity (or, at least, in its international organizations):

"The Secretary-General will call for an urgent, system wide and external inquiry into all activities done around the globe by the U.N. funds and programs."

Henceforth, friends and fellows internationalists, January 22nd shall forever be known as the day that I, your humble blogger, first felt a warm feeling in my core when the acronym "UN" and the word "reform" were used in the same sentence.

While we're in the spirit of Romans 13 (see the title), I'd also like to congratulate...myself for the role I played in bringing this scandal to light. Had it not been for the courageous stance I took in my last blogger post, would the world have known the truth about the alleged misdeeds of the UN Development Program in North Korea?

Had it not been for the hard-nosed, tireless reporting done by the Hawkeye Republican, would the world have any reason to suspect the UN of providing material and moral support to the worst dictators and most repressive regimes?

Had it not been for the decisive action taken by your humble (keep the laughter to a minimum) blogger, would the great halls of power at Turtle Bay ever be held to account?

Oh, and maybe the Wall Street Journal helped too.

An Optional Alliance

2007-01-20T15:27:00.000-06:00

The United Nations is at it again. After losing $100 billion (give or take) to Saddam Hussein, the UN's Development Program is currently facing tough questions from the United States about its dealings in North Korea.

The Wall Street Journal broke the story in a Friday editorial, and you can read the official inquiry that prompted the editorial here (Adobe Acrobat Reader required).

As the editorial makes clear, there is no evidence that any UNDP officials were bribed. But these new allegations provide weight to the thesis that the United Nations is unreliable because it lacks accountability and institutional oversight. The newly-installed Secretary General, Ban Ki-Moon of South Korea, should order the UNDP to cooperate fully with American investigators and, if necessary, end UNDP activities in North Korea.

There are bigger issues at stake than the competency of the UN's humanitarian arm. What if the cash that the UN handed the North Korean government (yes, you read that right) was used in his pursuit of nuclear weapons?

Ultimately, if the UN continues funding the terrifying ambitions of American's greatest enemies, American policy elites should understand that they have other diplomatic options.

What A Moron

2007-01-13T00:40:00.000-06:00

It's good to see that some newly elected Democrats are quickly adjusting to the culture of Washington DC. According to the Oshkosh Northwestern (whereabouts of B'gosh unknown), Wisconsin Rep.-elect Steve Kagen stuck it the President, the Vice President, the First Lady, and the President's political advisor at a White House reception in November.

Kagen reportedly told Karl Rove he kicked his *** (three guesses), thanked Cheney and Bush for campaigning against him, and then, to top off the night, called Laura Bush "Barbara" because he "learned on the campaign that the meanest thing you can say to another gentlemen is, ‘he’s a fine fellow,’ and you then refer to his spouse by a different name.”

Oh boy. This could take awhile.

1. Maybe it's just me, but insulting the President's wife does not seem like the most appropriate way to introduce yourself to the sitting President of the United States. Way to go, Michael Moore.

2. Why stop with Laura Bush? Surely the President's secretary, dog, and paperboy also deserved a good licking or two for their role in shaping the President's policies.

3. Rove does a great job keeping his dignity with his response ("Congratulations") to Kagen's jack*** remark (“You’re in the White House and you think your safe, huh? You recognize me? My name’s Dr. Multimillionaire and I kicked your ***.").

4. A quote from President Kennedy's famous 1961 Inaugural Address supplies the answer to the question Kagen asked of Cheney and the high cost of the war in Iraq, “Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty." Bush and Cheney, unlike most Democrats, are the true heirs of the foreign policy legacy left by Democratics like Kennedy.

5. When pressed, Kagen retreats from most of his story and refuses to discuss it further. Now there's a real Washington insider, insult Laura Bush, brag about it to your friends, and then forget the whole episode took place.

In the end, Messrs. Bush, Cheney, and Rove come out looking statesmen, and Kagen comes out looking like the kind of sleaze we tried to clean out of Washington this past election. It's a shame.

Libya Mourns Saddam

2006-12-31T20:31:00.000-06:00

Tyrants often make common cause with other tyrants, so this should not surprise us. The evil of Saddam is one of the few agreements between the United States and Iran, the latter of whom suffered greatly at the hands of Saddam's biological and chemical weapons during the Iran-Iraq war of the 1980's. For Sunni Muslims to proclaim him a martyr requires them to ignore the well documented atrocities committed by his regime over the past 25 years and will further alienate them from political coalitions in the new Iraqi state.

There is so much more that could be said about this, but not on New Year's Eve. I'll come back to Iraq and the Middle East later.

In the meantime, you can celebrate 2007 with a video of Saddam's death from the Drudge Report. If that isn't enough to make it a Happy New Year, nothing is.

Merry Christmas To All, And To All, A Good Night

2006-12-23T21:57:00.000-06:00

There are many things I have wanted to blog about this past month, but I simply have not found the time to do it. I did learn how to snowboard in Colorado, which was great for the spirit and bad for the tailbone. But since the moral of the Christmas story is that we are unfulfilled enough in life to seek purpose in the most unlikeliest of places, you get a movie review. Maybe next year.

The Nativity Story: A Missed Opportunity, But A Good Family Outing

The Nativity Story is, unsurprisingly, the story of Jesus' birth. Writer Mike Rich is very faithful to the historical account of Luke 2 and includes several meaningful snippets of Old Testament prophecy. He does a very good job capturing the disenchantment of the Jewish people in 1st century Palestine, and the script includes some clever dialogue that brings the Three Wise Men of ancient Persia to life. The cinematography is very realistic, and Keisha Castle-Hughes is well cast as the young Mary.

But it left me wanting more. The Christmas story is really a collision of three stories, momentarily drawn together to produce the second greatest miracle the world has ever seen: Herod the King's quest for power, the Wise Men's quest for knowledge, and Israel's quest for redemption. In the story, Herod the Great is thwarted by the warnings of clever Gabriel (the film's most unspectacular character) , the Wise Men are richly rewarded for their intuition and sacrifice, and Israel never entirely understands the blessing God has bestown upon her.

The film ignores the delicate balance this story requires. King Herod is there, but his character is very shallow and boring, to say nothing of his brutish son, who spends the entire film brooding over his terrible lot in life. Rich and Director Catherine Hardwicke deserve credit for the entertaining interplay among the Wise Men, and Mary's family is very prominent in the earlier scences. For the 2% of the audience unfamiliar with the story, the beginning is very confusing. The formality of each Biblical reference is dusty and oblique, draining the vitality from the characters and forcing the audience to take the time to translate their speech into common English. A modern paraphrase of the New Testament would've brought the characters to life, even if it would disenfranchise textual purists.

Given the man that inspired it, this film could've been brilliant. Instead, it is merely a nice movie for the whole family to see. Mine did, and yours probably should too. At the very least, it will give you a better appreciation for the selfless, faithful action of ordinary people that make the 25th of December, and every day thereafter, a Merry Christmas.

2 Santas out of 4

Global Sweltering?

2006-12-10T14:23:00.000-06:00

Breaking news: The United Nations releases another report! This one actually may be worth reading, as it tempers some of the wild claims made by "climate-friendly" almost-former Presidents. To be fair, I have not read his book, but I'd highly recommend another fasctinating treatment of the subject.

As usual, you have to read all the way to the bottom of the story to find the good stuff. In this case, it's a quote from Julian Morris, executive director of the International Policy Network, "There needs to be better data before billions of pounds are spent on policy measures that may have little impact."

God save the queen.

A Free-For-All Alright

2006-11-24T13:12:00.000-06:00

The New York Times reports on the theatrics taking place at a forum on religion and science at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in La Jolla, California. The article is highly amusing and worth taking part of your hard earned free time to read. Here are three highlights:

It's Christmas a month early for Ann Coulter:

Carolyn Porco, a senior research scientist at the Space Science Institute in Boulder, Colo., called, half in jest, for the establishment of an alternative church, with Dr. Tyson, whose powerful celebration of scientific discovery had the force and cadence of a good sermon, as its first minister.

Mr. Sam Harris contributed to the discussion with this brilliant insight: "I don’t know how many more engineers and architects need to fly planes into our buildings before we realize that this is not merely a matter of lack of education or economic despair." He apparently finds violence in religion as endemic to religion, a commonly held view that ignores the entire scope of religious teaching, practice, and history.

And finally, the comment that defies commentary. From Professor Richard Dawkins, D.Phil., Oxford University, author of the delightfully titled "The God Delusion":

“I am utterly fed up with the respect that we — all of us, including the secular among us — are brainwashed into bestowing on religion...Children are systematically taught that there is a higher kind of knowledge which comes from faith, which comes from revelation, which comes from scripture, which comes from tradition, and that it is the equal if not the superior of knowledge that comes from real evidence."

Well now. For my take, consider a syllogism (defintion courtesy of www.dictionary.com):

1. Everything that has a beginning has a cause.
2. The universe had a beginning.
3. Therefore, the universe had a cause.

If both 1. and 2. are true, then 3. also must be true. Point 1. is a restatement of the principle of cause and effect, which, last time I checked, most scientists believed to true. Point 2. is a description of the Big Bang event, which, last time I checked, most scientists believed to be true. I know it gets complicated, but Stephen Hawkins is on my Christmas list for the second year in a row, so you'll have to wait for the details 'til after the Hawks win the Alamo Bowl. If cause-and-effect holds, then something or someone must have caused the Big Bang. And I wouldn't put money on me, Laura, or Dan McCarney (RIP).

In other words, it makes perfect sense for the rational person to accept at least the possibility that a higher power (alright, I'll just come out and say it - God) exists. Science can posit the existence of a higher power, but it is limited in describing the nature of that power or the implications that the existence of such a being may have for our lives. When these scientists talk about an "evangelistic approach to science" they sacrifice the limited, cautious, sober judgment required for good science.

The biggest enemy of scientific discovery and its potential benefit to society is not the black-robed preacher, but the hysterical Ph.D. with a hidden social agenda who allows irrational prejudice to cloud his or her judgment.

Imagine that, an entire post on science and religion without mentioning intelligent design. Read my last birthday present for the facts.

The Battle of the Alamo

2006-11-22T10:58:00.000-06:00

It's good to be back folks. Now, to business:

Iowa has the most loyal college football fans in the country. How else do you explain a 6-6 overall record, a 2-6 Big Ten record, an 8th place finish in the Big Ten...and an invitation to the Alamo Bowl? Based on our place in the standings, we should be off to the retirement castles of Phoenix, Arizona, and the Insight.Bowl.

The Alamo Bowl, of course, is named after the famous Battle of the Alamo at the Alamo Mission in San Antonio, Texas, in 1836. Mexican General Santa Anna and 6000 soldiers laid seige to the fort for 13 days, killing all 250 armed rebels. The Alamo was guarded by a colorful cast of characters, including Davy Crockett, the frontier legend-turned-Congressman, who upon his January 1836 electoral defeat told his Tennessee constituents that "if they did not elect me they could go to hell and I would go to Texas!" Other defenders included Jim Bowie, who stole the idea of the 'Bowie knife' from his brother, and Lt. Colonel William Barret Travis, whose final dispatch during the battle read:

"The enemy has demanded a surrender at discretion otherwise the garrison are to be put to the sword, if the fort is taken — I have answered their demand with a cannon shot, & our flag still waves proudly from the walls — I shall never surrender or retreat."

However, the battle turned the tide in the Texas Revolution. On April 21, 1836, Sam Houston's outmanned army, the first to use the battle cry "Remember the Alamo", defeated Santa Anna at the Battle of San Jacinto. Incredibly, Houston suffered only 27 casaulties while destroying General Anna's army (650 killed, 600 captured) in 18 minutes of fighting. Soon after, the Republic of Texas was a free country (they still had slaves, but that's another story).

Does anyone else find it unsettling that Iowa is the home team in a bowl game named after a battle in which the "home team" was completely and utterly destroyed? Perhaps "Remember the Alamo" can be our 2007 rallying cry.

2006-09-24T22:55:00.000-05:00

NEWSFLASH: Pierre Pierce is now free and Iowa students still hate Steve Alford.

Sorry this post wasn't Katie Couric-stylized.

2006-09-24T22:48:00.000-05:00

LUCKY 13: It physically pains me to say it, but clearly Fate favors Ohio State.

Based upon both Iowa and Ohio State's performance over the weekend, the teams are ranked #13 and #1 by an AP poll.

I mean, I'm all about saying, "Yo, Fate! Let's tango. Maybe over some Flippy Cup, yeah?" But, let's be serious, folks, Fate has us ranked one spot below Notre Dame.

I hate you Fate. Why don't you go harass some New Zealanders? (See previous post)

2006-09-24T22:33:00.000-05:00

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME STARBUCKS?: Let me first note how massively difficult it was not to start this post with a pun-ish title like "Starbucks Brews Up New Prices?" So, in the spirit of compromise, I'll just link you to an article from our friends in Massachusetts with the aforementioned title (I blame Mitt Romney...why? Because I can).

No more light-hearted puns people, this caffeine junkie is mad!

Let the rant begin.

Why would you do this to me Starbucks? Raise your prices, when I'm already paying $3.50 a latte!

Hey, it's me. You know, the "me" who supports you despite your suppressive crackdown of New Zealand unions! I mean come on, all Republicans hate unions (it's true, look it up on Wikipedia), but Kiwis? Fun-loving, accent-happy Kiwis? Plus, a super delicious fruit, how could you?

The same "me" who frequents your establishment at least twice a day. Who regularly chooses a cup of coffee over lunch?

And now you plan to raise your prices by at least a nickel.

That's cheap Starbucks, really cheap. And by cheap, I mean priced expensively, but really morally bankrupt of you.

*NOTE: I realize this rant may be a little less rantish than usual, people. Give me some time, I'm easing back into the blogging...either that or my addiction to Starbucks has all but crippled my mind outside of caffeine consumption. I'm going to go with the last one. Definitely the last one.

2006-09-21T23:24:00.000-05:00

I AM STILL ALIVE: This is just a teaser.

2006-08-31T19:39:00.000-05:00

BE REMARKABLE: We're trying already.

The University of Iowa has launched its new campaign: "Be Remarkable." Check out our remarkable action plan.

2006-08-27T23:01:00.000-05:00

I REALLY HOPE THIS IS TRUE: Marines guarding Saddam Hussein have repeatedly forced him to watch South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut.

There really aren't words.

2006-08-27T22:42:00.000-05:00

IOWA STATE SCIENTISTS SHOULD GO COW-TIPPING INSTEAD: Proving that they have way too much time on their hands, Iowa State scientists are perfecting a method of ethanol fuel purification that yields food-grade alcohol. Corn is awesome.

2006-08-27T22:18:00.000-05:00

STARBUCKS UPDATE:

You ain't stealing their tip jar.

If you live in the Southeast, get your free frappuchino on Tuesday between 2-5pm. Please include a tip.

Malaysians are boycotting Starbucks over U.S. support of Israel. The real news is that there are eleven Starbucks in Malaysia.

Starbucks wants us to buy, um...I mean, "read," more books.

2006-08-27T22:02:00.000-05:00

BONO UPDATE, PART DOUZE: Following in the steps of the Rolling Stones, U2 has gone Dutch in search of windmills and tax relief...okay, mostly tax relief.

The tax rate on royalty earnings in the Netherlands is only a few per cent, while Ireland has recently brought in tax changes which have imposed a cap of €250,000 (£168,000) on tax-free incomes for artists resident in the republic. Hence, U2 set up an umbrella financial group in the country.

Hopefully they got some free wooden shoes too, eh?

As we all know, Bono is the world's coolest humanitarian, donating loads of money to every government but his own. And Irish Government Officials are a bit peeved about this.

The Guardian quoted Irish Labour party's finance spokeswoman, Joan Burton as saying: ‘Having listened to Bono on the necessity for the Irish government to give more money to Ireland Aid ... I am surprised that U2 are not prepared to contribute to the exchequer on a fair basis along with the bulk of Irish taxpayers.’

2006-08-22T12:14:00.000-05:00

A DISTINGUISHED SCHOOL, INDEED: Earlier today, Princeton Review released their annual list of college rankings.

Here's how the University of Iowa stacked up:

#14 Teaching Assistants Teach Too Many Upper-Level Courses

#1 Their Students (Almost) Never Study

#15 Lots of Beer

#12 Lots of Hard Liquor

#9 Party Schools

Special congratulations goes out to University of Wisconsin-Madison for having the most beer on campus.

I guess all of the hard liquor majorly hampers the studying...

2006-08-22T02:01:00.000-05:00

RUPERT EVERETT DOES NOT ENJOY A GRANDE SKIM NO-WHIP MOCHA...POSSIBLY: For those of you who are less adamant followers of The Starbucks, let me refill your cup with this Guatemala Antigua of a tussle.

Apparently, the Hollywood star (who I seriously haven't seen since My Best Friend's Wedding) doesn't want The Starbucks in his neighborhood.

Crazy Englishman, must be too many hazy days.

Quite seriously though, Everett told the UK Daily Mail: "Starbucks is spreading like a cancer. Nobody in the neighborhood wants it, including me. There are plenty of diners and coffee shops there already."

Okay, so I get your point...small business...yada yada yada...save the world...truth, justice, and the caffeinated way!

The Starbucks is like a modern-day Lex Luthor and their holiday Gingerbread Latte is my kryptonite!

Noble effort, but The Starbucks will undoubtedly beat you or remain your foil, my friend.

Destroying Iowa One Ranking at a Time

2006-08-22T01:29:00.000-05:00

FIRST BUSINESS WEEK, NOW PRINCETON REVIEW: Things are getting interesting at the University of Iowa - the University of Texas has been ranked as the "Best Party School in the Nation."

Alums out there - what do you reminisce about from your time at Iowa? Great classes (let's be honest, now)? No. Great facilities? Dude, we're paying $6,000 a year and that's with inflation! Our IMU is so decrepit that filming of Tales from the Crypt could commence any day.

Let me succinctly answer that question. You thought about that time at Field House when you bought rail drinks for all your fraternity buddies for less than the price of a Starbucks frappuccino.

But in the never-ending quest to pull our rankings up by the tail and focus on "academics," university officials have cracked down and our equally important rankings have fallen.

Important to increasing the value of our degree? Yes. Arguably damaging to a less scholastic distinction? Perhaps.

Case and point, Business Week recently ranked our superb undergraduate program 39th in the nation...and that's after our Big Ten colleagues Michigan State, Illinois, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Indiana, and Penn State.

There are no kudos for being seventh best of eleven.

What we have always been awesome at is drawing in the crowds for the good times. We work hard, we play hard, and we remain earnestly Midwestern about football.

As fellow Iowa football fan and blogger Brady points out, at the whim of University Officials, the grass lot on Riverside and Myrtle has been closed down for Fall tailgating, effectively leaving hundreds of tailgaters without a pot.

Look - I'm not saying that we need to invite Jose and Jack into the classroom, I'm just pointing out that we need to try to remain distinguished at something...anything.

A Day at the Fair

2006-08-12T16:04:00.000-05:00

Happier Days: Presidential Candidate Joe Lieberman waits in line for a funnel cake

THE BLUE RIBBON CAST OF CANDIDATES: Although the Iowa State Fair may be the second-largest state fair in the world (seriously: you suck, Texas), it's got more political action than the New Hampshire Primary!

Iowans who gather for the fair will see more than the butter cow and world's largest hog this year. They'll also be treated to some quality corn-on-the-cob time with folks used to pork-barrel spending.

According to Political Wire, New York Gov. George Pataki (R), Newt Gingrich (R), Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack (D), John Edwards (D), Sen Joe Biden (D-DE), Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN), Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) will all swing through the fair this weekend.

Past Fair politicos include President Bush ('02), former U.S. Sen. Bob Graham ('03), Howard Dean ('03), Senator Joe Lieberman ('03), former Massachusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis ('87), and U.S. Rep. Dick Gephardt ('88).

Kids, don't forget to eat your obligatory fat fried Twinkie on your way to Ye Olde Mill!

Gems Beyond the Headlines

2006-08-11T15:14:00.000-05:00

File this under the "you've got to be kidding me" actions taken by the UN. Although the headline of this AFP article is about Israel's decision to expand its ground offensive in southern Lebanon, check out this gem hidden toward the end of the article:

"In Geneva, the UN Human Rights Council voted to set up a commission of inquiry into 'systematic' Israeli attacks on civilians in Lebanon.

Twenty-seven of the 47 member countries backed a resolution submitted by Islamic nations, despite concerns the text was one-sided because it failed to tackle attacks by Hezbollah in northern Israel. "

The text of the resolution is here. It lists 22 signatories, including most of Israel's Muslim neighbors except Turkey and Iraq.

Maybe, during the course of their investigation, they'll stumble onto the fact that Hezbollah's entire offensive strategy is to kill as many Israelis (Jews and Arabs, soldiers and civilians) as possible with indiscriminate rocket attacks in order to sap the collective will of the Israeli people. Maybe.

We at the Hawkeye Republican favor holding all armies accountable to the law of war, which includes ensuring that military forces discriminate between combatants and non-combatants in the conduct of war. But the entire reason there is a tragedy unfolding in Lebanon today is because of Hezbollah's aggression.

Ultimately, it brings up the question of how serious the UN is in combating terrorism.

The Spirit of the Season

2006-08-10T11:24:00.000-05:00

Here at the Hawkeye Republican, we don't like to get too involved in Democratic primaries. Still, no one can ignore the fact that anti-war challenger Ned Lamont defeated incumbent Joe Lieberman for the Democratic party's senate nomination yesterday in Connecticut. Senator Lieberman has been one of influential and respected senators from either party in the past twenty years. His crime? To support the war in the Iraq.

I have alot to say on this, but a Washington Times quotation from one of America's premiere foreign policy experts, Michael Moore, captures the spirit of this coming election pretty well:

"Let the resounding defeat of Senator Joe Lieberman send a cold shiver down the spine of every Democrat who supported the invasion of Iraq and who continues to support, in any way, this senseless, immoral, unwinnable war."

In Rummy's Words

2006-08-08T15:48:00.000-05:00

Secretary Rumsfeld contrasts the tactics of the US and its allies with the tactics of our enemy in Iraq in a recent statement before the Senate Armed Services Committee.

It Makes You Wonder

2006-08-08T15:09:00.000-05:00

This recent conflict in Lebanon, a single, but meaningful front in the West's War on Terror, introduced me to UN Security Council Resolution 1559. Passed on September 2nd, 2004, it called for the "disbanding and disarmament of all Lebanese and non-Lebanese militias" within the context of a greater push to free Lebanon from Syria and Iran's grip. This language sounds great, except that Israel's recent military incursion has been the only attempt by any free power to undermine Hezbollah's terrorist machinery and restore territorial sovereignty to Lebanon.

It made me wonder: what other resolutions has the UN Security Council passed but not implemented? Are 'empty promises' a common theme? And what have been the consequences? Here's the UN website archives, with what appears to be the complete list.

Maybe I've reached the upper limit of the UN's purpose: to bring nations together, decide on an international course of action, and wait for someone responsible or desperate enough to enforce the will of the Security Council.

I'll take a look these next few days and see what there is to see.

Looking Past November

2006-08-07T15:34:00.000-05:00

The conventional wisdom says that the Republicans will lose seats in the both the House and the Senate, perhaps losing enough to become the minority party on Capitol Hill. As Byron York from the National Review Online reports, the would-be chairman of the House Judiciary Committee details his 26 point plan to impeach the President if conventional wisdom holds.

A Worthy Cause

2006-08-07T15:05:00.000-05:00

A fellow blogger, Extreme Mortman, asked that I pass along this charity to our loyal Hawkeye Republican readers. ThanksUSA is a scholarship fund to send family members of our fighting men and women to school. Check out the link (either one, aren't options great?) for more information.

2006-07-29T12:38:00.000-05:00

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD LIKES ELASTIC LOAVES: Everyone's favorite axle of evil took a little time off from plotting with Hezbollah to ensure more freedom of thought back home in Iran.

What a guy that Ahmadinejad is.

Apparently the word "pizza" isn't Persian enough, unlike "elastic loaf," which was totally floating around back in the time of the Achaemenid Empire.

He has ordered government and cultural bodies to use modified Persian words to replace foreign words like "chat," which will become "short talk" and a "cabin" will be renamed a "small room."

Because being Persian ain't just all about the carpets anymore.

2006-07-29T12:11:00.000-05:00

WE WANT YOUR MONEY: The University of Iowa has finally admitted it.

Illinoians (if that's what you call yourselves): we want your money.

Come to the University of Iowa and pay $18,500, so that I can continue to pay $6,300.

Thank you, University of Iowa officials, for planning to open a recruting center in Chicago.

What's The Better Headline?

2006-07-27T22:30:00.000-05:00

Alright, loyal readers. What's the better headline for this news article?

Armstrong Reserves Judgement on Landis

OR

Armstrong Rides RAGBRAI, Talks Cancer, Eats Pie in Small Town Iowa

Clearly, the fact that Lance Armstrong is in Sully, Iowa, eating coconut cream pie and signing autographs on the greatest bike ride on earth is more newsworthy than some Tour de France rider failing a drug test. If this was an American sport like baseball, it'd be page 3 news.

And Laura, please come back from Idaho. Don't do it for me; do it for the bracelet.

...But There Is Still Hope

2006-07-25T12:08:00.000-05:00

Ladies, meet Buddy on Demand. He can't take out the trash, but he can make you feel safer driving at night. No word yet on whether he can cure cancer, but I wouldn't put it past him.

One Is The Loneliest Number...

2006-07-24T22:38:00.000-05:00

If the Daily Iowan can be trusted (never a guarantee), then it's bad news for all the loners out there: being single can be bad for your health.

One quote in particular stands out:

"'Single people feel less supported and, therefore, less likely to take care of themselves.'"[University of Iowa psychology researcher] added that spouses or partners also provide tangible assistance - advising someone not to pick up a cigarette or to schedule an appointment with the doctor."

Thanks, but I'll stick with picking up my own laundry and dying at 50. For now.

2006-07-23T23:30:00.000-05:00

BIRD FLU STRIKES RAGBRAI: Okay, not quite.

But the annual cycling marathon across the state has been struck by a highly unfortunate event: chicken poop bingo.

Oh yes and did I mention this story was in the Des Moines Register? Pray to God the AP doesn't pick it up.

I'm going undercover as an Idahoan for a few days.

2006-07-23T22:40:00.000-05:00

THE FRENCH INVADED: Sincere apologies to the dozen or so readers who caught an interesting view of the Eiffel Tower earlier this evening on our blog.

What can I say? There's no such thing as a French military victory.

Bono Update, Part Onze

2006-07-23T21:09:00.000-05:00

IF THE WHOLE ROCK STAR THING DOESN'T WORK OUT...Jayantha Dhanapala, a leading candidate for UN secretary general, would like to recruit Bono as a John Bolton agitator.

Perhaps the more-PC term is "goodwill ambassador."

As you may know, we here at Hawkeye Republican have made it our job--okay, more like occasional hobby--to track Bono since his G8 activism last year caught our eye*.

News is slow on the cool rockstar-wearing-sunglasses-indoors front, but we'll let you know when he releases his next Amex.

2006-07-23T20:49:00.000-05:00

MORE ON IOWA FOOTBALL: If you haven't snapped up your tickets yet, good luck gaining a starring role on a Kinnick Stadium webcast.

Home games against Iowa State University, Ohio State University and Purdue University are sold out. Ticket sales for the University of Wisconsin game have been suspended.

Fear not, there are still opportunities to witness the greatest football ever played in the greatest college football town in the world.

This Wednesday, tickets go on sale for the season-opener Montana game, as well as games against UNI and Northwestern. Good luck.

Maybe A Little Too Much School Spirit

2006-07-22T22:32:00.000-05:00

Tired of reading about war and conflict in the Middle East? Have the summer time blues got you feeling down and just a little homesick? Do you find yourself humming the tune to the Iowa Fight Song, only to realize that you've forgotten what comes after "Fight, Fight, Fight"?

Fear not, fellow Hawkeyes, Republicans, and any and all combinations of the two: you can receive live webcam updates of the Kinnick Stadium Renovations from the comfort and convenience of your home computer.

On the downside, I will never again walk through the Rec Building parking lot without looking over my shoulder and wonder who could be watching online.

The Violence Done To Lebanon Shall Overwhelm You

2006-07-21T20:37:00.000-05:00

Great verse from The Good Book, and a fitting quote from this Wall Street Journal editorial. It's long but worth the time to read.

I've been thinking. Many are calling for the US to do something in Lebanon, and I've heard rumors that Secretary Rice may head to the Middle East soon to address the escalating violence between Israel and Hezbollah. Before her visit, President Bush should make a public statement dedicated entirely to Lebanon. Forget Israel; everyone knows we support them already. Israel is not the problem, and the President must reframe the issue and forge a political solution around a framework that does not blame Israel for the tragedy in Lebanon.

For example:
We support the government of Lebanon and its right to remain a sovereign nation, without the meddling of others who do not share its concern for the well-being of the Lebanese people. We call on Hezbollah to disarm immediately and on the military forces in the region to exercise restraint and humanity in their enforcement of that disarmament. Once disarmament is complete and negotiations have commenced, we ask for the assistance of the international community in rebuilding a safe, free, and prosperous Lebanon.

2006-07-21T00:03:00.000-05:00

MOVE TO AUSTRALIA: Because wine is now cheaper than water.

Australian college students re-juice!

Great puns, brought to you by Hawkeye Republican...

A Diamond In The Rough

2006-07-20T14:27:00.000-05:00

There's nothing more satisfying than a New York Times article that gets it right. Today's diamond is Ms. Nayla Moawad, Lebanon's social minister. Her story is buried at the end of page 2 in an article detailing the tragedy in Lebanon, also proving that good things come to those who read further than the headlines.

Ms. Moawad said, “The decision of the Hezbollah operation was not taken in Lebanon...Lebanon was taken a hostage, a mailbox of other people’s interests. It has been taken in Damascus, probably with an Iranian coordination.”

Although it is her personal opinion and not an official Lebanese government position, Ms. Moawad's statement shows a clarity of thinking about the Israeli-Hezbollah conflict not shared by some in the West.

Why Government?

2006-07-19T19:00:00.000-05:00

First, congratulations to President Bush on his first presidential veto. While I would have preferred he celebrate this inaugural exercise of constitutional authority earlier than 5 years into his presidency, any veto that limits the scope of federal subsidies is better than no veto at all.

But why is the federal government's role in subsidizing embryonic stem cell research only debated on moral grounds? A better question on which to frame this delicate issue asks whether this sort of research is an appropriate use of federal tax dollars. The distinction between the conservative and the liberal (misleading labels to be sure) is that the conservative approaches the funding of embryonic stem cell research and asks "Why government?" while the liberal approaches the same issue and asks "Why not?"

Many on both sides are uneasy about answering in categorical terms whether or not the frozen stem cells from a human embryo count as human life, and whether or not they should be afforded the same constitutional protections as you and me. It is an impasse I will not attempt to bridge here.

Supporters of embryonic stem cell research should take their case to private companies and non-profit foundations. If there is a profit to be made in this realm of science, rest assured that liberal amounts of capital will follow (see: US pharmaceutical companies). If not, may your humble blogger suggest bringing the funding issue to a non-profit, philanthropic foundation whose guiding principles include a belief that "Science and technology have great potential to improve lives around the world", "Our focus is clear - and limited - and prioritizes some of the most neglected issues", and "We take risks, make big bets, and move with urgency. We are in it for the long haul."

PS- they have lots of money too.

I Should Have Known...

2006-07-18T17:55:00.000-05:00

Never trust the French. How could I have been so wrong?

Arabs Against Hezbollah

2006-07-17T22:35:00.000-05:00

It's about time. It's also time for an opinion from your humble blogger:

Iran and Syria, who back Hezbollah with finances and weaponry, have miscalculated and lost (for the moment) whatever sympathy they had in the rest of the Arab world. Israel will crush Hezbollah and much of southern Lebanon; it has the best air attack capability in the world. Israel's recent military incursion has created a new rift between Sunni and Shia Islam and exploited it to their national advantage. Iran moves to the top of the Arab world's [insert President Bush's latest vulgarity] list, and the UN Security Council passes economic sanctions that cripple its centrally-planned economy even further.

Eventually, Messrs. Blair, Annan, Putin will convene an international peace force and produce a cease-fire between Israel and a humilitated (but strengthened) Lebanon. Could Israel's heavy-handed action, met with skepticism and disdain by many in the West, stimulate peace in the region? My inner optimist says yes. My inner realist (ha, right) says it's too early to tell.

In the meantime, my inner idealist says pray.

Rouge, Blanc et Bleu

2006-07-16T22:55:00.000-05:00

SURRENDER! OH, JUST FIREWORKS...: Today, my friends, we celebrate the greatest of great national holidays:

14 juillet...Bastille Day!

So, fight against absolutism, storm the Bastille and finish off your day's work with a big slice of cake, cherie, because the Revolution has begun!

Take That Tehran!

2006-07-16T15:54:00.000-05:00

Iran learns a lesson in economics as it suffers from...higher crude oil prices? You have to appreciate the irony: the world's fourth largest oil exporter struggles to continue subsidizing the finished product it imports. Iran lacks the domestic refinement capability to turn its home-grown crude into fuel, one of the reasons the country turns to imported gasoline. None of this would have made the front page of the New York Times if the Iranian government didn't subsidize 80% of the true cost of crude.

So the lesson here is, of course, that if you want to stick it to the terrorists, don't teach them economics.

The Coming Storm?

2006-07-15T20:22:00.000-05:00

Violence in the Middle East is nothing new, but this is some pretty scary stuff even by their standards. Israel has raised the stakes beyond the return of its kidnapped military personnel. If this isn't a war on terror, I don't know what is.

The Most Aggressive Action The French Have Taken In 200 Years

2006-07-11T16:37:00.000-05:00

Check out this 15 second video clip (courtesy of YouTube) of Zidane's vicious head butt from the France-Italy world cup final. For all of you who have better things to do than follow the 'beautiful game', Zidane is France's star player and national hero.

Forza Italia!

2006-07-08T11:17:00.000-05:00

IOWA'S STRENGTHS ACCORDING TO TOM: Governor and perpetual candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination, Tom Vilsack, recently voiced a few of Iowa's talking points during a campaign stop, excuse me, visit to Burlington.

According to Tom, Iowa benefits from the:

1) third lowest cost of business

2) fourth best worker's compensation program

3) fifth best work environment.

and has the...

4) highest SAT scores

5) and lowest dropout rate in the nation

Oh, Tom.

2006-07-08T11:10:00.000-05:00

HOMELAND SECURED: Iowa will receive $189,000 from the Department of Homeland Security's Buffer Zone Protection Program. Awesome.

Now all of our fields of corn will be super secure. Take that corn rootworm!

2006-07-02T22:09:00.000-05:00

SOUTHEAST IOWA IS CHALLENGED: No offense to you folks born South of I-80, but even Burlington's Hawk Eye newspaper has now gone as far to confirm this long-standing fact.

As a Northeast Iowan, it's the job of this oft dormant blogger to put keystroke to post chronicling urgent issues facing Iowa...and the pending annexation of regions South of Iowa City to Missouri merits attention.

Just kidding. I love Southeast Iowa and Missouri.

Hopefully, folks in Des Moines will take note of the continued need for investment into this area. It's a beautiful region with friendly people, but like the rest of the state, an extremely unfriendly investment climate.

A more competitive coporate tax rate would be a great start forward in spurring new business development.

Just a thought.

2006-07-02T21:58:00.000-05:00

LIVE 8 REVISITED: Bob Geldof, noted economist and foreign aid expert...uh, I mean Irish popstar, recently gave his assessment of the G8's progress toward lofty goals set at last year's Gleneagles summit.

Apparently, France is the only country set to meet G8 development targets in Africa by 2010.

Seriously, somebody needs to call Bono to get on this--STAT!

2006-06-19T22:39:00.000-05:00

AMERICANS ARE GREEDY: That's why we gave $260.28 billion to charity last year.

Of course, that's roughly the GDP of Saudi Arabia...which isn't generous at all...

2006-06-11T20:58:00.000-05:00

CONGRATS HANK: Finally, we've got a great Treasury Secretary nominee.

2006-06-11T20:52:00.000-05:00

DID YOU VOTE LAST TUESDAY?: If not, you joined me an gazillions (okay, maybe just thousands) of other Iowans who did not, in fact, test out Iowa's new-fangled voting machines.

Just to be politically correct, I had nothing to vote for on Tuesday. Every race was uncontested (including that of governor in my primary), so don't leave a comment to me preaching about I should be more politically active, especially since that would be like telling Bill Frisk to pretend to act creepier.

It's just not even humanly possible. Unless, of course, he becomes a Scientologist.

Back to the issue at hand, congrats to the 2/3 of Democrats who voted. Really, congratulations, I mean it. Voting is good...usually.

Just keep it in check when November comes 'round.

2006-06-11T20:49:00.000-05:00

DASCHLE TESTS IOWA FOR 2008 PRESIDENTIAL BID: Okay, how about I give you one American dollar to leave us alone?

I'll throw in some sparklers for the 4th and a watercooler from Target. Savvy?

2006-06-11T20:39:00.000-05:00

IOWANS DON'T LIKE TOM VILSACK: Oh yeah, and some poll apparently reveals that John Edwards would take 30% of votes or something like that...right.

But, what's really striking is how little support Vilsack pulls from his own state. Shit, not since Al Gore lost Tennessee has so little support been shown for a home-spun candidate.

Iowa, thanks for keeping it classy.

2006-06-11T20:30:00.000-05:00

BLOGGING IS STILL FUN: First of all, let me apologize for the utterly horrific infrequency of my blogging. I mean for real, you don't navigate all the way over to this site just to read something from a week ago? Yawn. Old news, right?

Alright, well true that, homes, but I'm working on it. Now that I'm not in Crete or in Spain or some other God-forsaken land of Europeaness and third-world toliets (sadly, it's true), blogging may become even more infrequent.

You see, I am about to embark on internship with a firm that really embraces the 100 hour work week, or so I'm told. Daunting? No. Awesome? Totally. I'm excited to really put that Iowa work ethic to work (ba dum dum).

So, excuse me if things remain a bit outdated. Seriously, you hit this site for the superb Starbucks coverage and occasional Bono updates. You know it, I know it. You also probably own a Backstreet Boys CD. Don't be ashamed. Just embrace who you are. Liberals tell me it's healthy. Like a Mango shake or Flinstone vitamin...or something...

On that note, let's get back to it a bit. Back to blogging.

2006-06-04T07:27:00.000-05:00

BACK IN THE STATES SLIGHTLY INCAPACITATED: No, not from jet lag (because truly only the weak buckle to such a force), but from getting my wisdom teeth out.

Welcome home to America, do you mind undergoing oral surgery? Awesome. And by awesome, I mean to purposefully refer to my mantra: Life sucks, then you Die.

It's true, I've lived the dream.

2006-05-23T09:48:00.000-05:00

GRECIAN COUNTDOWN: Actually, I can't count in Greek, so this is going to have to be in English, εντάξει?

Point is, in a mere 6 days, I'm leaving Greece and headed back to the States. Awesome that I call it "the States" now. That's like graduating to "D.C" after living in Washington for awhile.

Clearly, you can tell I haven't lived in Washington long enough.

2006-05-23T09:27:00.000-05:00

STAR SPANGLED ICE CREAM: Although Ben and Jerry offer some great ice cream flavors, there's a new kid on the block. A Starbucks Republican (assumming ice cream can be divvied into a voter segmentation), if you will, who supports Smaller GovernMINT.

Hehe.

Star Spangled Ice Cream Company is pushing the conservative movement the only way half of the population can be reached: by commencing "Operation Conservative Ice Cream" to the stomach.

Rummy would have thought of a waaay better invasion name. Apologies, I'm just not the strategic mastermind.

The ice cream manufacturer donates 10% of profits to "the troops."

You know, "the troops?" Those dudes everyone keeps talking about. That big, faceless entity, who much like the smurfs, is omnipresent and lovable.

In a very unsmruf-like move, flavors like Gun Nut, I Hate The French Vanilla, Iraqi Road (my favorite flavor!), Nutty Environmentalist and G. I. Love Chocolate (sounds better than Hershey's).

What am I saying? Heck, smurfs would be all about the Gun Nut. Always wondered about those smurfs.

Anyway, go buy some ice cream!

2006-05-18T03:59:00.000-05:00

THE GOP LOVES STARBUCKS...REPUBLICANS: Bored with worrying after "security moms" and "NASCAR dads," the media has found a new voting block to buzz about. The buzz, of course, depends upon the number of expresso shots in your grande iced caramel macchiato.

Ah, segmentation how I love thee.

The new "it" voting block...Starbucks Republicans.

Lewis Black couldn't have coined it better himself.

These independent-leaning voters in high-growth areas in the South and West ultimately backed Bush two years ago but are now disappointed in the president and the Republican Congress.

Wow, sounds like every Republican to me.

In case you're wondering about the finer points, or if you, in fact, belong to this voting block (though personally, I think it would be waaay cooler to be a NASCAR dad), here's the DL:

LOCATION: Mostly in the suburbs

AGE: Younger then the average, 55-year-old voter

GENDER: About 55 percent to 60 percent female...so basically, they have one

INCOME: Middle class to upper middle class

FISCAL POLITICS: They support lower taxes but are anxious about the federal deficit

SOCIAL POLITICS: Pro-choice and not anti-gay

OTHER POLITICS: Pro-environment, especially when it comes to sprawl. Concerned about the economy, health care and the price of gas

RELIGION: Many of them attend church, but they are more secular than fundamentalist

David Beattie, the creator of the term says that "They may be disappointed in Republicans, but they are not convinced yet that Democrats will do better." And added, "They view what is happening in Washington, D.C., as a childish food fight."

Wow, sounds like every Republican to me.

2006-05-18T03:47:00.000-05:00

Iowa Cuts Price Of Men's Basketball Season Tickets: Mostly because no one likes Iowa basketball and Steve Alford should be fired.

Heck, it would probably be a better use of trees to litter the Pentacrest with "Vote for Fallon" fliers, instead of printing tickets.

2006-05-13T04:58:00.000-05:00

IN CRETE: Blogging may resume shortly.

2006-05-04T12:05:00.000-05:00

İSTANBUL HAS STARBUCKS: As I dıscovered earlıer today.

Thats ıt folks, let them ınto the EU! Starbucks ıs clearly a sıgn of an advanced, Western cıvılızatıon.

Even though theır keyboards have odd puctuatıon. Forgıve the keyboards. It happens.

2006-05-03T08:52:00.000-05:00

AWAY FROM MY BLOG: Until next Monday. I'll try to post periodically, but just try to live until then. Try.

2006-04-28T16:03:00.000-05:00

THERE´S NO PLACE LIKE HOME: Especially if you aren't there for a year.

The world is a big place, but with the help of the likes of Ryan Lewis, Aaron Tobias and company, it´s about to get quite a bit smaller. These Kansas natives have just embarked on the journey of a lifetime and plan to chronicle it.

Check out their blog, it´s good stuff.

Join me in hoping that these young Americans find their own Emerald City.

2006-04-28T04:06:00.000-05:00

GIANT PANDAS GO WILD: Giant panda alert of the day. Because endangered animals are wicked necessary to keep track of.

Speaking of which, China plans to release a five-year-old giant panda named Xiang Xiang into the wild...with a GPS tracking device.

Fortunately, the panda enjoys Starbucks and isn´t a member of Falun Gong.

2006-04-28T04:01:00.000-05:00

MOST UNAMERICAN MOVES OF THE DAY: A man swipes a Starbucks coffeemaker and in response, the chain moves to France.

Well, not exactly in response.

2006-04-28T03:57:00.000-05:00

MUMPS ARE NOT COOL: At 1,273 confirmed cases, it might be best not to visit the state for a bit.

2006-04-27T16:36:00.000-05:00

NOT IN SWITZLERAND: Ever have one of those days when you pillow in enough time that it should support Dumbo´s lumbar needs, the escalators are broken, the metro unexpectedly stops, your luggage weighs 75 pounds, you do good deeds and you still miss your flight?

Spreading good deeds optional, of course.

Instead, of soaking up Lugano, I´m headed off to Toledo and possibly Naples. It´s a tough life, but somebody´s got to do it. Again, blogging will be touch-and-go.

2006-04-27T08:47:00.000-05:00

THE UNITED STATES OF EUROPE: Thus far, I´ve seen more Americans in Rome, Madrid and Barcelona than Europeans. We´re everywhere. Here´s hoping I´ll meet another Iowan in Switzerland.

That´s right, Iowa is everywhere.

While in Madrid for two days, I´ve already met two of them and dined at the Iowa Cafeteria. Unfortunately, Iowa is in a redlight district. But, if you´d like some Spanish pork chops, head over to Montera 42!

2006-04-24T19:08:00.000-05:00

IN THE CANARY ISLANDS: No canaries have been spotted yet. Maybe I should stay longer to really thoroughly look?

2006-04-24T18:45:00.000-05:00

CONSERVATIVES COME OUT: Hey University of Iowa conservatives, it´s time to stop hiding in the shadows. Seriously, that´s like waaay Dick Cheney creepy. Not cool.

From April 24th to 27th, small government-minded folks will be celebrating Conservative Coming Out Week!!

Each day will be named after a president with events following that theme. Just imagine a Ronald Reagan Day full of baking Dutch apple pie or an Abraham Lincoln Day with a free play!

On Monday, George W. Bush Day, CR´s will show "Journeys With George" in room 61 Schaeffer Hall at 7 P.M. Tuesday´s Eisenhower Day will include a dodge ball event in the field house at 7 P.M.

Because Ike loved dodgeball. Totally themed.

2006-04-24T04:03:00.000-05:00

ABOUT AS NONPARTISAN AS CONGRESS: My good friend and newly-minted UISG President Peter McElligott has pledged to leave all of his party affiliations behind...all of those left-leaning tendancies.

Here´s hoping he can do it, but UISG is a notoriously politically sticky place, even for those who claim no affiliation (as Pete has just done). Particularly when it comes to funding initiatives, there is no way any leader can disguise his core belief set to equally, let´s say, allocate funds to conservative versus liberal issues or groups.

The Executive has a good deal of money to play with, money that Senators have little, if any, pull over. During the reign of Krez/McCarthy senatorial power was severely stripped, as the Executive consolidated to rule over student affairs.

I trust Pete will do a good job--as he has thus far in the aftermath of disaster--but just like any leader, we´ll still need to keep an eye on him.

2006-04-19T09:32:00.000-05:00

CORPORATE AMERICA AND COMMUNISM COME TOGETHER: China´s President Hu loves Starbucks. Vladmir Putin last spotted at KFC.

2006-04-19T09:05:00.000-05:00

PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR: Really not important anyway, yeah?

Dear Readers,

Please excuse all errors. Pretend like I´m the New York Times or something. I am currently blogging from Spain and the keyboards are a bit different. Bear (like a polar) with me.

Thanks,
Me

2006-04-19T08:07:00.000-05:00

AUR REBUILD HOUSING? For those of you who are University of Iowa grads, you may know about AUR: undeniably the worst property management company in Iowa City.

AUR developed such a bad rap in Iowa City that it changed its name to Downtown Apartments and then again to Keystone Property Management, in an attempt to shake its ruthless student-unfriendly image.

Well, apparently, they were hit pretty hard by the April 13th tornadoes; in fact, my former apartment was destroyed.

Now they say that they plan to rebuild the apartments and rent them to the displaced student tenants in a similar location at a similar price. Fat chance.

We are watching you and your obscene price-gauging efforts, AUR.

2006-04-15T19:13:00.000-05:00

CORPORATE AMERICA MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN SMITED: More news of Iowa City's latest random act of nature: apparently, Nature/the Almighty hates Wal-mart and Starbucks.

These two Iowa City meccas for culture and other stuff too, were apparently hit pretty hard. Poor, sweet Starbucks.

2006-04-15T03:24:00.000-05:00

LEAVING TOWN: Blogging may be light...over the next month. I'm headed on Spring Break to Rome (for Easter-what an idiot I am), Florence, Pompeii, Barcelona, Madrid, Gran Canaria and Istanbul.

Should be fun, in theory.

Luvins!

2006-04-14T04:13:00.000-05:00

TORNADO HITS IOWA CITY: Old news is good news, so in case you didn't know, A TORNADO HIT DOWNTOWN IOWA CITY!

Classes have been cancelled, Western-style looting has commenced (sorta) and gawkers continue to mill past damage.

2006-04-12T10:06:00.000-05:00

WE'D REALLY, REALLY LIKE YOU: To raise $1 million for Jim Nussle. Die hard Republicans turned out in droves at last night's President Bush-attended fundraiser in Des Moines.

Okay, let me just state for the record that my constituency is the teeny, tiny, slim margin who "approve" of President Bush, but honestly, this quote, when commenting on Nussle's skills as House Budget Committee chairman, was a doozy: "We have had some lean budgets in Washington, D.C., because we want to cut the federal deficit in half."

Dude, you want to cut the federal deficit in half? Then why don't you quite handing out prescription drug care lollipops to seniors and bowing to election year political pressure?!?!?!

But really, I still like you both.

2006-04-11T11:32:00.000-05:00

EGADS, BONO WAS RIGHT: Apparently wearing sunglasses inside not only makes you look cool, but also is the best way to fly.

Why the best way, you ask? Shoot, click on the link and find out already. Too lazy for that, then deal with the explanation that researchers in Edinburgh say it is!

Unless of course the unfortunate nature of air travel comes a-knockin'.

Dr. Chris Idzikowski, director of The Edinburgh Sleep Centre, admits: "I have used this technique on a flight but you have to be aware of immigration officials as they can ask you to take them [sunglasses] off, which weakens the outcome."

Thanks for ruining my internal clock, immigration officials!

2006-04-11T11:23:00.000-05:00

BEN AND JERRY PLOT TO CONQUER THE WORLD: Through beer-flavored ice cream.

Imagine if they had released this monstrosity around Super Bowl time? Okay, stop imagining, I'll tell you what to imagine: Ben & Jerry's ice cream minions could have taken out America's whole defense system!

Just think how they could obliterate the entire Kennedy clan. Just think.

2006-04-11T11:16:00.000-05:00

UH...WELCOME TO IOWA...WE LOVE YOU?: For the first time in a year, President Bush is dropping by Des Moines today to tout his Medicare drug plan and stump for Candidate Nussle.

Sounds good. If we liked you...ehhh...sorry to rub it in.

2006-04-06T11:52:00.000-05:00

NOAM CHOMSKY COMES TO IOWA CITY: Wow, who's next, Jimmy Hoffa? Wait...(see blog entry below)...

Making sure that academic intelligence is still the furtherest thing from it, everyone's favorite leftist pontificator is dropping by campus for a speech. Though the university is advertising him as a "linguist and political commentator," we all know who he truly is.

Noam's speech, "UNIVERSALITY OF HUMAN RIGHTS: PRINCIPLES AND PRACTICES” will be at the Englert Theatre at 7:00 p.m., Monday, April 10, 2006.